Tendency Towards Good

The tendency of man’s nature to good is like the tendency of water to flow downwards. – Mencius

Not everyone would agree with this quote. Some people think that humans are inherently selfish or evil. I think they’re wrong.

People point to the newspapers and the broadcasts, showing all the murders and thefts and horrors that go on in the world. They claim this as proof that humans are awful things and that we are destined to destroy one another and ourselves.

I see it as just the opposite. The reason that horror is news is because it is unusual. Horror is horrible because it goes against the normal process of most people’s lives. If everyone witnessed a rape or a murder every day, then so what? But we don’t. While many women are being raped every day, most are not. While a lot of murders are happening every day, the number of murder victims is an infinitesimal fraction of the total number of people. Rape, murder, theft, and all other forms of “news” are not the norm. They are the aberrations. This is why they are news.

Every day, people around the world help out others. They give money and time to charities. They are kind to their neighbors. They raise their kids to be decent human beings.

“There is hope for the future” is such a pessimistic statement. It implies that things are so awful now that we have to wait for the future to be decent. Or, the person saying it means that they were so certain that the future was going to suck and now they are pleasantly surprised that it might not. For pity’s sake.

There is not just hope for the future, there is certainty. Are there more atrocities now than there were a century ago? I doubt it. Not when you factor in the increased number of people in the world. And then toss in the fact that discretion is no longer a virtue to the media. Franklin Roosevelt was never shown in his wheelchair, but we get daily updates on the colon surgery of the vice president. It’s sad. But, just because there’s more atrocities reported does not mean there are more atrocities.

The future will hold many wonderful human beings, and you are one of them.

Improvement

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for? – Robert Browning

This quote troubles me a little. Now that I think about it, I’m not certain that I should include it in the blog. There are two sides to it, or rather one side that continues on longer that I would want.

Trying for something you want, something you don’t have currently – whether that be a thing or a situation or a circumstance – is a good thing. However, never being satisfied with what you have is a bad thing. Improving your life until you are content is one thing. Never being content is another.

Your life (most likely) could be better, and improving your life, going beyond your comfort zone, trying new things, are all wonderful things to get that life that you deserve. But, if enough is never enough, then you are in store for a whole lot of misery. So where do you stop? When is enough enough?

That’s not a question anyone can answer except for you, though there are plenty of people who will do their best to answer it for you. People who want you to stay on the rat race, people who think that you’re getting too big for your britches, people who don’t want you to succeed more than they do – all of these people will tell you when it’s time to stop and when it’s time to keep going. That doesn’t mean that they’re answers are the right ones for you.

On the other hand, your family may have a legitimate observation or two. If you’re working 80 hour weeks to provide for a family who already has enough, then they may call you on it. If you’re headed for burn out, or if you are spurning your former friends because they don’t have as shiny a car as you do now, or if you’re becoming a jerk, then hopefully someone will call you on it. And hopefully you’ll listen.

Listen, when someone says to you “reach” or “be content”, but listen to the “why” behind it. Why are they telling you that? Don’t assume that because they say so that it’s automatically right or automatically wrong. But take the time to make a quick check of your own feelings on the matter. Do you have enough? Should you try for more? Decide for yourself. It’s your life.

The Whole Loaf

Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little. – Putarch

I read a novel where a woman was wondering if she should accept the nomination as vice presidential candidate, since the presidential candidate was offering her only some of what she wanted for women’s rights. A wise old woman told her to take the job. She said that you take the half the loaf and then another slice and another slice and before the other person knows it, you’ve got the whole loaf. That’s perseverance.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Someone ate a bicycle like that. It took him something like a year, but he did it. Is that your aspiration? To eat a bicycle? You can do it. Take one bite first. To make a million dollars? You can do it. Make one thousand dollars first. To write a novel? You can do it. Write one page first.

And then you do it again. You take another bite. You make another thousand. You write another page. And then you do it again. And again. And again. And if you lose the money or your computer eats your novel or whatever tragedy befalls you, you make a thousand dollars, you write one page, and you do it all again. You persevere. Because that’s what it takes to achieve your goals – little bits over and over again.

Circumstances

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. – George Bernard Shaw

There are people who start with nothing and end up brilliant doctors or multi-millionaires or the biggest name on TV and radio. There are people who start with everything in life and waste it all on booze and drugs. There are people who have awful, horrible parents and become a success anyway. There are people who continue to say at the age of 45, “If only my parents had believed in me.”

How long do you think you’re going to get away with it? How much of your life gets to be blamed on your parents or the circumstances of your birth? At what point is it no longer “their fault” and something you’re allowing or causing to happen?

Sadly, for some people, all the bad in their life will forever be someone else’s fault. And that’s not only false but also a trap, because if it’s someone else’s fault, then someone else is in control of your life. And if someone else is in control, then you aren’t, and you won’t ever be able to get out of whatever hole you’re in.

Even if someone else is to blame for how your life is right now, you are in charge of what your life is like tomorrow. Yes, there are things that are beyond your control – car accidents, earthquakes, someone breaking into your house and stealing everything. But there are things within your control, and if you don’t like those things, then change them. If the circumstances of your life are not what you want, then make them different. Take control, take charge, take responsibility for you, your life, and the circumstances in which you live. Only then can you shape your life and create your Future.

Elevate Your Life

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. – Thoreau

Which is more important in this sentence – the “unquestionable” or the “conscious”? They’re both very important.

Your ability to improve your life is unquestionable. It is certain. You can improve your life. No matter how bleak it looks, it is possible for you to improve it.

But, it takes conscious effort. You have to make it happen. It’s not just a “sit back and wait” sort of thing. It takes you consciously – thinking, aware, intentionally – making the effort to improve your life.

Can your life improve by accident? Through no effort of your own? Sure. Miracles occur. Is it likely to? Not really. Not nearly as much as if you put in some effort.

It is possible for you to improve your life, if you intentionally make the effort. It’s a wonderful thing. Don’t give up hope. It may not happen right away, but it’ll happen a whole lot sooner than if you wait a year before you start making the effort. Good luck.

All The Good You Can

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. – John Wesley

There are always opportunities to help. There are always chances to do good. No matter what the situation, you can make it a little better, if by nothing else than by not complaining unnecessarily. Your attitude can make a slight difference, even if nothing else you say or do does.

Think about all the kind words that were ever said to you, every time someone held the door open for you even though they didn’t need to, every time someone said “Have a nice day” and sounded sincere. Did these times make your day just a little better? Perhaps even your life, in the case of words that were inspiring as well as kind? What if the person had done the opposite? Said something mean, let the door slam in your face, not even bothered to say good bye? Would these things have made your life a little worse?

The ripple effect of a person’s actions has been said so often that it’s in danger of becoming a cliché. However, clichés are also often true. What you do can have consequences you don’t know. You may never know. And it is precisely because you can never know what effect your actions will have that you must do the good you can. You don’t know what’ll happen when you do that good thing, so you do it just in case.

The cynics among you are wondering, “What about all the times that you do a good thing and it backfires on you?” How often does that happen? Really? Every time you do a good thing? Even half the time? If it isn’t every time, then why not do the good you can for those times when it actually does good? Also, check out those times when it does backfire. Why does it backfire? When does it backfire? Is it when you think you know what’s best for someone else? Is it when you don’t ask permission to do something that alters another’s life? Is it when you barge into someone else’s business when what they really want is some privacy? Sometimes, with some people, you need to be cautious that what you do is really good. But not every time, and not with every person.

Do the good you can, because it will ripple into the Future, making it better.

A Little Bit

Yesterday I didn’t go into work as usual. I first had a doctor’s appointment. I left my home 15 minutes later than I usually did, and that made a lot of difference. Traffic, for some reason, is much heavier at that time that it is 15 minutes earlier. It took me half again as much time to get to where I wanted to go.

Recently, I noticed that one of the two bulbs in my bedroom light had burned out. The difference in light quality is staggering. Just one bulb makes a lot of difference in how a room is lit.

A little bit can make a huge difference. What if you ate just 10 calories less in a day? In a year, you’d lose a pound. Just one bite of food less in a day, and you lose a pound every year. What if you wrote half a page every day? In two years, you’d have an entire novel’s worth of writing done. Just half a page. Write just one paragraph, and you’d have it in four years. How many people do you know that are going to write the great American novel “some day”? Most of them won’t. But just a little bit of change in your day can make certain you do.

Do you have seasonal affect disorder? Then you know how much a difference it can make changing a light bulb from a 40 watt bulb to a 100 watt bulb. It’ll affect your attitude, which will affect your life and everyone around you. Just a little bit of change.

One less cigarette – even half a cigarette less. One less shopping trip in a week. One fewer videos rented. One quarter hour less on the computer or the TV. All these things can add up and help you create a different life. The changes you make don’t have to be big to be effective. They just have to be made.

Face to Face

Face to Face: Women Writers on Faith, Mysticism, and Awakening, edited by Linda Hogan and Brenda Peterson, is an excellent book. It covers a wide range of spiritual beliefs, including Christianity, Judaism, shamanism, Wicca, and several others. It’s a series of short essays or excerpts from longer works by woman on their spiritual beliefs. It’s a fascinating read and certain to have something resonate with any reader.

Appreciation Day (one day late)

For this month’s appreciation day, I tried to send word to J. K. Rowling how much I enjoyed her books. Unfortunately, I could not find a way to contact her. Her official site was very confusing. So I’ll say it here instead.

I really loved the Harry Potter books, and I wish there were more of them. I loved most of the movies, and I wish that they could have been done better, to better show all the intricacies and great things in the books. The books and movies have provided me with hours of entertainment, and I appreciate that.

Reaching Out

Very few of us want to appear weak, but a lot of us have different definitions of what weak means. To some, being weak means crying. To others, being unable to cry is a sign of weakness. Some look at physical strength or stamina, others to mental agility. But one definition that a lot of us use for weak is needing help.

Because we don’t want to appear weak, we don’t want to admit we need help. Which means we don’t ask for help, even when we need it desperately. Which is sad, and cuts us off from our friends, neighbors, family.

Think of a basket or a cord. Each time we interact positively with our friends, family, neighbors, we add another reed or piece of twine. The basket is strengthened. The cord is sturdier. Our relationship grows. And when we are in desperate need, we can return to these same people and get the help we need, because we have already created something strong between us.

The tricky part is not asking for help more often than you give. Not just give help, but give at all. You can also give advice, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to complain to, a batch of cookies, and thanks. When you give, you add to the bond between you and the other person, just as they added to it when they gave to you. In giving and receiving, you strengthen what is between you. In taking only, you create resentment that will ruin the good will and spoil what you’ve created.

Some people will give only. They don’t want to take. They don’t want to appear weak. But, they don’t create the bonds needed. They don’t give other people the opportunities to help you. Just as with those who only take, those who only give also spoil what is between them and others.

Giving and taking, sharing, creates bonds that can last you through the good times, comfort you when you feel lonely, and help you when you need it most. I want in my Future a community of people who help and give and care for one another. I will create that by giving and taking, and you can too.

Persistence

I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him. – Eleanor Roosevelt

This message has been said before in this blog, and it’ll be said again. Persistence is key. Don’t give up. Keep trying. If you fail, try again until you succeed. Not in the same way, but improve your tries. Conquer your fears. Again and again, people throughout history and the world have known that to do what needs to be done, what you want to do, you need to do it and not give up until it is done. Create your Future as you want it. Don’t settle for something less, just because it’s easier. Create. Try. Succeed.

When Everything Falls Apart

When everything falls apart, what do you do? When things are going to hell in a handbasket, what do you do? When you’re so depressed that opening your eyes, though you’re awake, is just too much, what do you do?

You boil everything down to the essentials, the basics, the necessities – whatever you want to call it. So very much of our lives are trappings, extras, but they’re needed to live a full life. But when everything falls apart, you buck living a full life and you go for survival.

You eat. Even though you don’t want to. Even though everything tastes like ash. Even though you don’t really have the time. You eat. You grab an apple or banana, you stop at a drive through, you get a protein shake. You do something to get nutrients into your body, because your body will tell you when it’s done, and when it is, you’re going to stop whether you like it or not.

You bathe. Even though you don’t want to. Even though you don’t see the point. You clean yourself of the germs and dirt so you don’t get sick. You make yourself presentable in case someone decides to try to rescue you or you need to go and rescue someone else. You bathe not because it will make you feel better than you do right now. You bathe because it will make you feel better than you would if you didn’t. Maintenance more than improvement.

You take care of your dependents. This includes kids and pets. You make certain they have food and water, that they also are clean (because you don’t need a sick dependent right now), that they are safe, that they have access to toilet/cat box/outside (because it’d take you longer to clean it up than it would to make certain that they had somewhere to go).

You sleep. Even though you don’t think you have time. Because you need to be at your best, or at least as good as you can be, and for that, you need energy. The energy you get from food and the energy you get from sleep. Mistakes are made more by sleepy people than rested people. And do you really need to make mistakes right now?

If you are spiritual, you pray. Even though you don’t feel grateful. Even though you rail against the power(s) that be for your current situation. Even though you don’t think you have time. You pray, whether it’s a plea for help, a damnation for circumstances, or a thank you that nothing else has gone wrong today. Because, like with bathing, it’ll feel better than if you don’t. And, you may get an answer.

That’s it. You do those five things. You take care of your body, your dependents, and your spirit. And when your life has fallen apart, these are the pieces you use to start over. These are the first pieces you pick back up. First, and before anything else, you survive. And that is how you will later be able to Live.

Make Your Own Luck

Sometimes, you just have to make your own luck and your own opportunities. Opportunities will present themselves to you, but sometimes, they wait around for someone to stumble over them or to dig them up. And sometimes, you just have to make them.

Was there really a lack of burgers in the pre-McDonald’s world? Was there a craving, a need, for a quarter pounder with cheese? Probably not. That didn’t stop McDonald’s from growing into an international fast food chain currently worth no one knows how much money.

Weren’t there enough books to read, enough authors already published, before Stephen King came around? Was there a hole in the universe the precise size and shape of a rabid St. Bernard? Or a man-eating car? Or a recurring killer who took the form of a demonic clown that prowled around in the sewers? I doubt it. But how many of you recognize all three of those things?

Sometimes, there’s a niche in the world just for you, a place or action that only you can fulfill. And sometimes, there’s not. Sometimes, you make that niche anyway. The world is big and beautiful place, and there’s room enough for all of us and all of our dreams. Make some of yours come true.

One Year Anniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of when I became cancer-free. January 30, 2007, I had surgery that removed the portions of my body that were or perhaps were infected, and they all came back benign. This was wonderful news.

Over the past year, I spent 6 weeks off work, recuperating. I had numerous set backs and phone calls to the hospital, and even one trip in an ambulance to the emergency room. I still have problems sometimes with my scar.

But I’m alive.

My life is different now than it was then. I dumped the secure but lousy job. I reached out to other women, including family members that I had allowed to become estranged. I learned I was very strong and that I could reveal weaknesses without being weak. I learned a lot about humility and about allowing others to do what they need to do to take care of themselves. I learned that a healthy friend was worth more than my pride. A lot of things are worth more than my pride.

I also learned that taking care of my health is an ongoing process, that it’s never “over”, much like dishes or cooking. I have learned a lot about my body and how everything is interconnected. I learned how lucky I was to have caught it as early as I did.

I also have a lot more to learn. How to relax, how to take the time for myself I need, how to fill my life with things that nurture me rather than pass the time or merely entertain me, how to stand up for myself and my needs. I’m still learning those things, but I am learning, and I am living, and that’s what’s important.

Happy anniversary to me. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Inertia

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. – Will Rogers

Dictionary.com defines inertia as the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force, also known as one of the three big laws of physics – an object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest. It’s also, human-ly speaking, the force that makes you want to keep your butt in your chair once you got it there. It’s why it’s that much more difficult to get up and do the dishes after you’ve sat down. “I’ll do them later” is a whole lot tougher than “Let’s get it done now”.

There’s a way to beat inertia at its own game, though. You get started. And once you’re started, you are now “in motion”. And it feels good, and you figure “I may as well wipe off the counter tops since I just did the dishes. It won’t take long.” Getting out of the chair and away from the TV or computer to wipe down the counter tops is difficult. Wiping off the counter tops when you’re standing there having just finished the dishes is much easier.

And it works for dreams, too. You can stall on a dream and let it stagnate, and the longer you go without making a move, the harder it is to take the next step. But, if you work on it, even a little, every day, then it’s weird, even hard, to go a day without doing something about your dream. Exercising is the same way. It’s a lot harder to exercise the first day of your routine than it is the second.

The big thing about the “every day” things is that you don’t bite off more than you can chew. Don’t swear to jog three miles every day when you know that you’re going to Grandma’s on Saturday and won’t have the time. Better that you promise yourself you’re going to walk or jog every day, three miles when you have the time and the weather cooperates, around the block if you don’t. Or if you can’t go outside, find some inside thing you can do to keep up the habit of exercising every day. That’s the key – don’t make the habit “jog three miles”; make the habit “exercise”. That way, you keep the habit going.

And if you do skip a day, don’t beat yourself up. Just pick yourself back up and get back to the habit. One cigarette after three months smoke-free doesn’t mean that you can never quit. It means you had a cigarette. Go back to being a non-smoker as soon as you stub it out. One piece of cake does not break a diet. Throwing out all your healthy eating habits because of one piece of cake will break a diet. And why are you on a diet that doesn’t allow cake? Moderation over deprivation.

Put yourself in motion towards your dream, and make it a habit to move in that direction every day, even if it’s just a little bit, even if it’s just thinking very hard about it for five minutes. Make inertia work for you, and you will create your Future.

How not to commit suicide

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. – Nietzsche

I used to be suicidal, when I was a kid. Home life was hell. School life was hell. I lived in the middle of nowhere with no friends around, so my entire life was encompassed by home and school. I thought about it a lot, tried to figure out a way to do it that was guaranteed. I didn’t want to just injure myself. I didn’t want to end up a vegetable or dependent on my family for the rest of my life. I couldn’t figure out a way. So I lived. In time, home life became better. I changed schools. I made friends who didn’t betray me. Life improved.

My “why” to live went from not wanting to only injure myself to getting out of grade school so that at least half of my life would get better. I have a lot more “why”s to live now. I love my life. I believe I can make a positive difference in this world. I love to create, and I really don’t know if I’ll be able to on the other side of death. I have the “why” to live now, ones that are positive and energizing.

If you’re suicidal or depressed or just can’t bear to live like you do any longer and yet you don’t know how to change your circumstances, you need a “why” to live. Not just exist, but to live. Existing and living are two different things, though it’s difficult to live without existing. Though some people do “live on” though the changes they made in the world.

Some people live “for others”. Their “why” is to serve those others or some cause. This can be a good start, but it’s rarely a good end. The best “why” I can think of is because you want to. Next best, because the world is a better place with you in it. Those are two of the best “why” reasons to live that I know. If you have other really good ones, feel free to comment.

If you don’t have a “why”, then get one. Start contributing to something. Volunteer, pick garbage off the street, say prayers for people. Give to someone else. Or create something that you refuse to leave unfinished. A masterpiece of some sort. If you have to, tell yourself that you can kill yourself later, but only after you finish this. Buy yourself a little time.

So many people kill themselves because they believe they have nothing to live for. Give yourself something to live for. Even a small something. It probably won’t be your destiny, your purpose in life, or even something that you’ll still want to be doing in five years. That’s okay. It’s a start. It’ll keep you living until you can work through what’s wrong and get to the other side of the problem – the side where even if it isn’t fixed, at least it’s resolved.

Give yourself a why to live, if you don’t have one right now. And if the one you have isn’t working, get a new one. You deserve to live.

Commitment

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genus, power and magic in it.” – W. H. Murray, the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

“Unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance” is exactly what you need to complete you destiny and create your Future. Someone once said that success is when opportunity meets preparation. Be prepared.

For those of you who do not believe in a Higher Power who will move Heaven and Earth in order to provide you with the opportunities to do what you want, think of it this way. There are opportunities around you constantly. There are people who are looking for skilled people, hard working people, people willling to do certain things. Are you the person they’re looking for? Maybe, but how will they find you unless you have the right connection? How do you get the right connection? By meeting people and knowing people and being the type of person who they would recommend.

For example, let’s say someone needs a band to fill in last minute for tonight at their bar. Are they going to ask you? Not if they don’t know you. However, if you’ve prepared enough – asked and gotten an audition, been good enough to be considered – then, they might ask you. You don’t even have to have played for the bar owner. They might ask one of their other usual bands or even the band that couldn’t make it. Do you know other bands? Do you know other bar owners or managers? Has anyone heard you play other than your other band members? Are you ready for the gig? Are you prepared enough?

If you are good enough and have gotten word out that you are a good band, then the opportunity could lead to success. If you aren’t good enough or if you haven’t bothered telling anyone that you’re in a band, then the opportunity will pass you by. Your preparation won’t lead to there being more opportunities in the world, but it will lead to there being more opportunities in your life.

Who would you rather hire, someone who’s thinking about changing careers or someone who’s been getting a degree in a new field? Someone who has written (though not published) many things and has been able to hone their skill, or someone who has been thinking about writing a novel someday? Someone you know is interested because that’s what they talk about and that’s what they’re doing with their life, or someone that you might not even know exists because they’re never at the business conventions or the free seminars or the open mike nights or anything else connected with the opportunity? Be the person they see, be the person they know about, be the person who’s good enough for the job.

Even if you don’t know what kind of Future you want to create, begin. Boldly. If you pick the wrong one and in five years you have to start over, that’s fine. If you hadn’t picked at all, in five years’ time you’d still be trying to figure out which path to take. If nothing else, you eliminate some of the clutter in your life and are able to focus more keenly on what you really want, what is really important.

Begin, and the universe will reward you.

Destiny

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. – William Jennings Bryan

A lot of people believe that they are destined for something greater than what they have in their lives, but few of them get off their butts and do anything about it. Don’t be one of these people.

They go through their lives, waiting, expecting something to happen to them or near them where they can be the hero – an accident where they pull the baby out of the burning car, a brilliant idea that launches them into the vice-presidency of their company, a song or band that gets them fame and fortune and plenty of roadies, something. But in the meantime, they wait. And life keeps ticking away.

So much of their focus is on what they’re going to do after this thing has happened. They think about how great it’s going to be, how they’ll blow all their money or not squander it like all the lottery winners you read about, how people will respect them and they’ll be able to do anything they want. They aren’t just tied up in the future; they’re tied up in the part of the future that happens after the event – just one portion of the future, over which they have decided they have no control. Inspiration will strike from outside. Or someone else will cause the accident. Or a recording agent will happen to be driving past their garage while they practice. Something. They don’t know when, but it will happen. Someday.

Don’t be one of these people. Don’t live in an uncertain future that hinges on something you don’t control, that will happen at a time that you can’t anticipate. Will things happen to you that you can’t control? You bet. But you don’t have to give up control to the whims of chance, expecting that destiny will do everything. If you do your part, you can shape your destiny and perhaps help it happen a little sooner to you.

Are you destined to come up with the brilliant solution at just the right time? Foster your creativity. There are plenty of ways to improve your creativity, help you think in new ways, see solutions that others do not.

Are you destined to be the roadside hero? Do you know CPR? Do you know the signs of shock? Do you know the numbers for the police and fire department? Can you swim? Can you swim well enough to help a drowning person? Are you nimble enough that you can dodge an out-of-control car? Can you fight well enough to scare off a mugger? Take a CPR class. Take a lifeguard class. Take a fighting class. Keep yourself in shape. Be prepared for the emergency in which you will be the hero.

Are you going to be the hottest musician since Elvis? Can you sing? Can you play an instrument? How many hours a day do you practice? How many songs have you written? Not just started, but completed? Even if that particular song is not the song that will make you a household name, it can be good practice. How many demo tapes have you sent out? How many have you made? How many people in the recording industry do you know? Practice your music. Practice your writing. Go to open mike nights and get used to playing in front of an audience. Even if they don’t deserve your talent or don’t recognize it, it’ll be good practice, and it’ll make for great stories when you do hit it big. Get to know people in the recording industry. Not just the big people, but the little ones. Little ones know small ones, know medium sized ones, know big ones, know the ones that can make you rich. And they also know the opportunities that you may otherwise miss, not being in the industry yourself.

There are a lot of things you can do to shape your destiny or at the very least be ready for it when it happens to you. You can shape your Future. Do the things that give it the shape you want.

Appreciation Day

One of the things I want more of in the Future is kindness, “thank you”’s, and appreciation. From here forward, I am going to have the 7th of the month be Appreciation Day on this blog.

There are many people that you can have appreciation for and show your appreciation to. Teachers, writers, actors, directors, cops, firefighters, librarians, coworkers, bosses, family, and many others. There most likely is someone in your life who has done good things for you either directly or as “just part of the job”. Was there a teacher that helped you? Is there a writer whose books bring you joy? An actor who moves you no matter what you see him (or her) in? A director whose every movie is on your book shelf? Cops and firefighters keep us safe. Librarians manage the source of wonderful free items. Perhaps you have a coworker who always has a kind word for someone, a boss who has helped you in your career, a family member who has always supported you, or someone else who has improved your life in some way.

If there is no one in your life, then think about history. There are many freedoms that I would not experience if it were not for numerous historical figures. What about in your country? Or researchers who have done great things for medicine – Louis Pasteur, Jonas Salk, and many others. There are also great organizations that have helped improve the world, if no individual captures your fancy.

Write this person or group your thanks. If you can and are willing to, send them a note. If not, then keep the note or toss it away, knowing that even if the other person doesn’t feel appreciated, you feel the appreciation. Sometimes, it’s difficult to express your thanks, but there are ways to feel appreciation without leaving yourself vulnerable.

To kick off this Appreciation Day, I have just written to a pair of authors whose joint works are some of the best I read. Virtually anonymous, yet sincere. Let me know who you thank. You could even thank them in the comments section, letting everyone know what they’ve done for your.

Happy Appreciation Day.

Helping Yourself

Prayer indeed is good, but while calling on the gods a man should himself lend a hand. – Hippocrates

This goes along with the saying “God helps those who helps themselves”. Prayer, hoping, wishing, planning, and preparing all are good things, but without action, it doesn’t do a bit of good. It may make you feel better, it may bring you more opportunities, it may do something, but it will not make the changes that need to be made.

Let’s say you’re looking for a new job. You pray, you prepare your resume, and you plan exactly what kind of job you’re going to take. If you don’t send out your resume or agree to the job, you won’t get the job.

Let’s say you’re on a diet. You choose to use one of the many methods that requires you to buy special foods. You chose; that’s an action. However, you also need to buy the foods, prepare the foods, and eat the foods. If you don’t take that action, it’s not going to help. Likewise, you can pray or wish all you want for weight loss, but unless you take the action of changing your eating habits or activity choices, you aren’t going to see a difference.

I have nothing against prayer. I pray. I pray for guidance and opportunity, for peace and serenity. But I know that unless I take the opportunity, unless I follow through on the guidance, unless I make room in my life for the peace and serenity, even if I get what I pray for, I won’t keep it.

Prayer is an excellent tool, but do not let it be your only tool. The Future needs action to be born. Pray for what you need, then use what your Higher Power gives you to take the actions necessary to create your Future.