Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup is an excellent book. I highly recommend it to any women, but especially to women who believe in alternative therapies and healing. She mentions a healing intuitive a few times. If that’s not your thing, then skip those parts and read the rest. She is a doctor, and the biological information alone is worth checking out. However, the advice on diet, health, and other parts of a woman’s life is very much worth the read.

Pessimism

If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic. - Hazel Henderson

According to this quote, pessimism is rather egotistical. You believe that there will be a particular outcome, something in the future is set in stone. But you can’t know that. You may be right. There may be things that happen just as you thought they would, but you aren’t right 100% of the time. “The country is going to hell in a handbasket.” Really? Are you sure? We have survived a great deal throughout our history, and we can survive this. “Morality is going downhill.” Perhaps, perhaps not. There are still many people helping others. Mainstream media certain has more swearing and nudity than it used to, but does that mean that we as a society are less moral than we were 50 years ago? And whose morals are we talking about? Yours? Why do you get to judge the entire country?

Pessimism means that you believe you know, that you out of everybody on this planet have knowledge of the future. Not just that, not only do you have knowledge, but you have the right to judge that future as bad. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t. You have your rights to have opinions on things, but you don’t get to judge the future or me or anyone else. You simply don’t know. So why not hope for the best? It costs the same amount of energy, and it certainly makes life more fun.

Be the Change

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

This quote has been on numerous posters and bumper stickers, so it’s probably familiar to people who read this blog. It’s still valid, no matter how many times or in how many places you’ve seen it. People who complain about things but do nothing to make changes are negative for no reason, and they should have no place in your life. You deserve better than negativity. People who make changes in the world are worth knowing. Some people go overboard and recruit everyone they can get their hands on for their cause. There are many worthwhile causes. Don’t let them drag into something that doesn’t meet your personal goals or would take more time than you can afford.

What if you don’t have time for anything? What if you’re booked solid for your entire life? First, declutter your life. Check out flylady or numerous other places and sources for decluttering advice. Second, check out your priorities. If you are placing a high priority on something about which you’re doing nothing, you’re either lying to yourself about its importance, or you’re not living your life in congruence to your beliefs. Neither of those things will help you get what you truly want out of life.

You don’t have to make huge changes in order to begin or to make a change. You want the world to be a cleaner place? Recycle a little more. Pick up a little trash you see in the park. Clean up your own messes. If everyone did that, the world would be so much cleaner. You want to see more money donated to worthy causes? Donate a dollar a week – figure out what you can do without, something little. Talk about worthy causes with friends and coworkers, see what they think about different charities; bring it to their attention. See if your employer has a matching program; if you make a donation, will they make one of the same amount. You want to see more love in the world? Be more loving. Give more hugs. Give more praise, but only if its sincere. Smile more often, and complain and criticize less.

You can make small changes that add up to big changes, when you keep doing them. You can be that change you want to see in the world.

The Bisexual Spouse

I was going to read this and do a book review on it, but I had to put it down after starting the third chapter. I was going to throw it down after the introduction, but I decided to give it a fair shot and read five chapters. No. I have better things to do with my life than to read this piece of garbage. I don't know where I got the recommendation from, but I wish I hadn't picked this up.

Short version of why I think this book sucks - the "bisexuals" in the interviews aren't bisexual. They are homosexuals who had heterosexual marriages for a while. That's the author's definition of bisexual - gays who thought they were straight but then came out as gay.

This upsets me, ticks me off, to use more "polite" language. I'd rather not swear in my blog, but this really gets to me.

I am bisexual. I am not gay. I am not straight. To declare that all bisexuals are really one or the other who dabbled or were mistaken is insulting to an extreme. I am attracted to women. I am attracted to men. I am also attracted to different physical aspects in men versus women. I like my women to be curvy and soft. I like my men to be fit and solid. A woman can be soft and solid, curvy and fit. So can a man. But, I am not attracted to androgynous people, or rather not just, because the physical has never been my main attraction to people. I am in no way monosexual. I am bisexual, and to be told that I don't exist or that I don't know myself as well as this author does is condescending and extremely upsetting.

There are times when a person is too close to something to see it clearly. We've all had friends (or been that friend) who ends up in the same situation over and over again, though we think it's a completely different thing each time. Our friends see it, but we don't. This is not one of those things. I've done a lot of thinking about this. I've done over two decades of thinking about this. I've gone through all kinds of labels and "what if"'s and things like that. I know what I am, and I know who I am. This author can go stuff himself.

Another thing that ticks me off about this is that other people will read this and think that the author is correct, that that is the real definition of bisexual. I have an ex-boyfriend who thought that way. There is enough derision and societal pressure about being bisexual without this spreading it around.

So, whoever recommended this book, please stop. And for anyone who was thinking about reading this book, don't. Not if you're looking for something about bisexuals. If you want to read about homosexuals who married people of the opposite gender, this is for you. But it sure isn't what it claims to be.

What You Want

"I want what I can't have." Are you sure?

You've run into this situation. I know I have. Multiple times. There's a great guy (or gal or job or whatever). He's great - smart, funny, energetic, or whatever it is that makes you tingle. But he's unavailable. He's married or dating or your best friend's ex or has an incredibly annoying habit that you can't live with or lives in another state or whatever it is. Because of X, you cannot have him. So, you can't have what you want, right? Wrong.

You want someone who's smart, someone who's funny, someone who's energetic. You can have it. You don't need him. You can get what you want in a different package. He is not the only smart, funny, energetic person out there.

Likewise, there's more than one great job, more than one place to live, more than one solution to your problem. But when you're focused on X, you don't see the rest of the alphabet. So take a closer look at X. What is it about X that you really want? How else can you get it? Hershey kisses aren't the only way to get chocolate. A Snickers bar works too.

You can have what you want provided you're more concerned with the substance than the packaging.

Change

Things change. People change. You change. And what worked for you five years ago may not work for you now. It's not a matter of being dissatisfied or about being never satisfied, despite what some people may say. It's about being a dynamic, growing, changing being. You, your body, your beliefs, your life - they are all always changing. Some things will never change, but there will always be something.

So what do you do? Do you ignore change? Do you actively fight against it? Do you insist that things are or remain exactly the same as five years ago? That won't help you. People are born. People die. People get new jobs. People retire. Laws change. Wars start. Wars end. Things change, and you cannot change that.

You adapt. You adjust what needs to be. You see the new situation and life, and you turn it to your advantage as best you can. You can always change your thoughts and your attitudes. No matter what change life/fate/the outside world forces upon you, you still have a choice.

Choose your Future, over and over again.

What If?

What if life was infinitely precious? What if the choices you make today affect not only your own future but those of others? What if you were more important than you could possibly know? What if fewer people are looking at you, judging you, than you think? What if someone found something to admire in you, every day, even on your worst day? What if? Then what?