When the Answer’s Always Yes

“Or take off the plugs so that it’s that much harder to get power back to it and gives you a little bit more time to think ‘Do I really want to spend the next part of my life on the computer rather than live my dream?’ Quite frankly, sometimes the answer is yes, and that’s okay. It’s when the answer is always yes that you’ve got a problem. That’s a topic for another time.”

The quote is from the previous post. The time is now for that topic. What if the answer is always, yes, I would rather do something else than live my dream? Then you need to do something.

First, check to see if this is really your dream. Do you really want this? Or is this something that:
your parents convinced you you should do?
something someone else has always wanted to do but couldn’t and is living their dream through you?
something that seems like the right thing to do?
something that seems small enough or possible enough for you to do?
Is it really your parents’ dream for you? Someone else’s dream? Not really a dream at all? It is easy to get confused by these things, at first, if you’ve been convinced by others or yourself that what is false is actually true.

You are taught to believe your parents, and for the most part you should when you are a kid. But, if they taught you that this was your dream when it really wasn’t, then don’t listen to them. It could be that they wanted to protect you from the “harsh realities” of that dream. Or that they never liked “those kind of people” and didn’t want their son/daughter to become one of “them”. If your parents have tried to tailor your dream, know that they barely scratched the surface. Within you still lies your true dream, the Future that you want made. Toss aside the fake dreams, give them back to your parents, and make room in your life for your dreams.

It could be that your parents or someone else always had a dream that they never could fulfill. Did your mom always want to be a dancer? Did your dad always want to be a pro athlete? Or the other way around? Did your grandmother always want to sail around the world and made you promise that you would do it and send her post cards from everywhere? Or a teacher saw great potential in you but declared that it could be fulfilled in only one way (the way that the teacher wants it fulfilled)? Again, give back their dreams. They are their dreams, and take hold of your own.

How can you tell if something is your dream or someone else’s that you picked up somewhere along the way? Think about it. Does it fill you with energy or dread? When you take your dream through the next several years, do your thoughts fill with color and sound, or are they a stale bit of gray and facts? When you think to yourself “I’m a painter”, “I’m a gymnast”, “I’m a motivational speaker”, “I’m an incredibly rich person”, whose voice says it? Yours? Someone else’s? Your dreams will energize you, make your thoughts fill with light, and resonate in your head in your own voice. Will they also make you run screaming because they have so much hard work attached to them? Sometimes, but the screams will be part of the rid rather than the entire dream itself.

Option 3 is the problem for many people. Life seems hard, and they don’t really have time to dream. They can’t possibly become an artist. They have rent to pay. So, they’ll pretend what they really dream is to become an accountant, because that’s what they’re good at. (Accounting, by the way, is a perfectly legitimate dream for some people. Just not for people who actually want to be something else.) And they’ll become good at being an accountant, or not, and the rent will get paid, and they’ll convince themselves that they’re doing the right thing, when really their dreams are suffocating inside and they just can’t understand why it feels so awful to be alive. Yes, you will probably have rent to pay. Yes, you will probably have to have a job that pays you money. But that doesn’t mean that paying the rent has to become your dream. Too often, “toys” come into play in that case. Who is more likely to have a 3 foot wide plasma screen TV – the painter who paints on the weekends and gives away their creations as gifts, or the painter who pays the bills by being an accountant and refuses to think about how much they enjoyed painting when they were younger? The person who has an unpublished novel sitting on their desk or one sitting one their soul? Dreams are the best toys of all, the best joy-givers, and The Future needs more joy. Dream your dreams and find a way to live them in order to make the Future brighter, to make your life brighter.

Option 4 is the problem for a whole bunch of other people, and is sometimes tied in with option 3. Option 4 is for people who settle, because they just can’t see themselves as making it big. They think that they aren’t large enough, that their souls aren’t large enough, to handle a big dream, so they make a small dream. That’s just bull. Our souls are infinite. Our talent is immense. Our creativity is phenomenal. And we can handle our dreams if we just trust ourselves to do it. Sometimes, you need to babystep your way into a big dream. You don’t just hop into a gallery showing when you haven’t painted your first picture or try out for the Olympics before you begin a training program. But make certain that you know it’s just a babystep and not the end.

Now, before I get more things thrown at the screen, I do understand that sometimes some dreams are unattainable to a degree. It is entirely possible that if you start out when you are 30 that you will not become an Olympic gold medalist. But, is the gold medal the only part of that dream that is important? Or is it national or world-wide recognition? Or is it having an incredible body? Or is it showing up your brother who got a silver medal at the Olympics? What is truly important? Can you get it some other way? Also know that some dreams may need to be set aside for a while in order to become attained. Perhaps there isn’t a method of presentation for your dream (like someone who thought of a great TV show before there was TV) or a proper medium (like someone who needed plastic before it was invented). What’s important is the heart of the dream, that it never dies.

Now, all that is just the first step – making certain that your dream is really your dream. If it is truly your dream and it is in the form that you have dreamt it, then what do you do if you never want to work on it?

Is the first step small enough? Is there any way you can make it smaller?

Is the next step exciting enough? Perhaps you have to do some of the bookkeeping or other uninteresting task, like cleaning the brushes or making space in the garage, and the dreariness of the next step is just overwhelming. Break down that step into small bits, remind yourself of what amazing dreaming you will be doing on the other side of that step, and reward yourself when you get the dreary bit done.

Will you be punished for taking the next step? Now, this may be a shock to some people, but there are not only dream-stealers out there, there are also dream-killers. There are people who will hurt others if they dare to dream. Will you be ridiculed? Bullied? Ignored? Or will the dream-killer be even worse? Will your products get destroyed? Or will you yourself get hurt? Please, get away from these people. Make that your first dream. You are too precious and too important to have your Future be limited by these people, and you never deserve to be beaten. Find Freedom, because it is in Freedom that the Future will be born. Without Freedom, the Future will be killed. If you are being punished, work with the people to make them stop if you can, leave if you cannot. If you cannot make them stop and have an extremely good reason for not leaving, then dream in private. Keep your dreams safe from them, but keep them alive. Do your work in private, or at a friend’s place. And if you are allowed no privacy? There is practically no good reason for you to stay, then. There are good reasons, yes (protection of others being the main and possibly only one), but hardly any.

Is this the right dream for right now? Me, I have several different dreams, and not all of them are feasible right now. So, I work on the ones that I can achieve or at least do something about at this point in my life, and I have put the other ones on hold for the moment. Is that true for you, as well? Is the dream you’re working on not the right one for right now? Can you find the one that is?

Are you afraid of what will happen when you achieve your dream? Will there be negative consequences. I have known plenty of people who would have bad things happen to them if their dreams were achieved. Family members would start expecting money. Family members would start shunning them for outdoing their own achievements. People would start digging into their past and find out things that are really none of their business. Spouses would leave them for no longer being “the person I married”. Or perhaps most common of all, once a dream has been achieved, it would have to be admitted that it will not bring the happiness that you seek. Sometimes, a dream is a distraction from what is truly wrong in your life, and as long as you have an unfinished dream, you don’t have to think about (much less do anything about) the true problems in your life. So, it’s better (you think) to keep the unfinished dream around as blinders or rose-colored glasses when you look at the rest of your life. Some tough questions come after this. You may want the Future to be better than the present, but are you willing to look at the problems that are in the present? I’m not saying you have to fix them, but are you willing to at least see them? If you truly cannot face those things in your life that you are hiding behind your dream, then find a second dream. Create your first dream, make it real, make it true, birth the Future that includes the wonderful things you will bring to it, and then immediately go on to the second dream so that you never have to see whatever it is that you’re afraid of. It’s the coward’s way out, but it is one of two. The first is the one you’re using right now. This way, at least your dreams come true and the Future becomes better. Not as good as if you worked on those problems you don’t want to face, but better than it is now. Don’t worry, there are an infinite number of dreams and distractions out there. Just keep bringing wonder to the Future, no matter what.

When you bring your dreams to life, when you share them with others, you make the world a better place, one with more creativity and life. You birth the Future that you want – one where your dreams are alive and well. You deserve amazing dreams, and you deserve an amazing life, and we all deserve and amazing Future, and we make it happen. Continue to dream, both in thought and in deed.