Prayer indeed is good, but while calling on the gods a man should himself lend a hand. – Hippocrates
This goes along with the saying “God helps those who helps themselves”. Prayer, hoping, wishing, planning, and preparing all are good things, but without action, it doesn’t do a bit of good. It may make you feel better, it may bring you more opportunities, it may do something, but it will not make the changes that need to be made.
Let’s say you’re looking for a new job. You pray, you prepare your resume, and you plan exactly what kind of job you’re going to take. If you don’t send out your resume or agree to the job, you won’t get the job.
Let’s say you’re on a diet. You choose to use one of the many methods that requires you to buy special foods. You chose; that’s an action. However, you also need to buy the foods, prepare the foods, and eat the foods. If you don’t take that action, it’s not going to help. Likewise, you can pray or wish all you want for weight loss, but unless you take the action of changing your eating habits or activity choices, you aren’t going to see a difference.
I have nothing against prayer. I pray. I pray for guidance and opportunity, for peace and serenity. But I know that unless I take the opportunity, unless I follow through on the guidance, unless I make room in my life for the peace and serenity, even if I get what I pray for, I won’t keep it.
Prayer is an excellent tool, but do not let it be your only tool. The Future needs action to be born. Pray for what you need, then use what your Higher Power gives you to take the actions necessary to create your Future.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
What are you afraid of?
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell
The defeat of cruelty and the enhancement of wisdom – two things that I would love to have in the Future. To gain that, we need to reduce fear. So, how do we do that?
First, you have to know when you’re afraid. You have to be willing to admit to yourself that you feel fear and to recognize it later when you do feel it. Sometimes, when you are constantly afraid, fear can feel normal. It’s not feeling fear that is weird to you, that creeps you out. Like living next to an airport or highway that suddenly goes quiet. The quiet seems unnatural to you. To reduce fear, you have to admit it is there.
Once you know that you feel fear, you have to figure out what you fear. That’s not always easy. If you have someone with a gun in your face – it’s easy. If you’re two seconds away from crashing into a wall at a hundred miles an hour – it’s easy. If you’re sitting in a diner or a park and suddenly you feel afraid, it’s not so easy.
It may have been something you heard. Things that are a threat to you, like a car crash or a gun shot, can be identified as fearful things. It may be something else that your fear noticed, even if your conscious didn’t. If something has made you afraid in the past, especially if you refused to admit you were afraid and buried that fear under denial, then something that reminds you of that time could trigger the buried fear. A laugh, joyous now but menacing then. A scream, as part of child’s game now but in terror then. The sound of someone falling to the cement, a mere trip now but part of something much worse then. You hear everything that goes on around you. You just don’t pay attention to it, for the most part. But your fear may pay attention to more than you think. Sight, touch, taste, smell – all of these may also hold triggers to the past.
You have two choices in this case. You can figure out what’s causing this from the past and unbury that fear so that it leaves. Or you can force the fear farther down, lock it, so that it can never trigger you again. Whatever works for you, though I don’t have quite the control for the second one.
You know you feel fear. You know why you feel fear. Then you can change the way you feel about that situation. Behavioral modification works, whether it’s by a trained psychotherapist or a person who just knows that when you fall off that horse, you got to get right back in the saddle. Same thing, essentially. You turn a fearful situation into something less fearful through pleasure, triumph, or survival. Or a combination of all three.
You can reduce the fear in your life and enhance your Future with your efforts.
The defeat of cruelty and the enhancement of wisdom – two things that I would love to have in the Future. To gain that, we need to reduce fear. So, how do we do that?
First, you have to know when you’re afraid. You have to be willing to admit to yourself that you feel fear and to recognize it later when you do feel it. Sometimes, when you are constantly afraid, fear can feel normal. It’s not feeling fear that is weird to you, that creeps you out. Like living next to an airport or highway that suddenly goes quiet. The quiet seems unnatural to you. To reduce fear, you have to admit it is there.
Once you know that you feel fear, you have to figure out what you fear. That’s not always easy. If you have someone with a gun in your face – it’s easy. If you’re two seconds away from crashing into a wall at a hundred miles an hour – it’s easy. If you’re sitting in a diner or a park and suddenly you feel afraid, it’s not so easy.
It may have been something you heard. Things that are a threat to you, like a car crash or a gun shot, can be identified as fearful things. It may be something else that your fear noticed, even if your conscious didn’t. If something has made you afraid in the past, especially if you refused to admit you were afraid and buried that fear under denial, then something that reminds you of that time could trigger the buried fear. A laugh, joyous now but menacing then. A scream, as part of child’s game now but in terror then. The sound of someone falling to the cement, a mere trip now but part of something much worse then. You hear everything that goes on around you. You just don’t pay attention to it, for the most part. But your fear may pay attention to more than you think. Sight, touch, taste, smell – all of these may also hold triggers to the past.
You have two choices in this case. You can figure out what’s causing this from the past and unbury that fear so that it leaves. Or you can force the fear farther down, lock it, so that it can never trigger you again. Whatever works for you, though I don’t have quite the control for the second one.
You know you feel fear. You know why you feel fear. Then you can change the way you feel about that situation. Behavioral modification works, whether it’s by a trained psychotherapist or a person who just knows that when you fall off that horse, you got to get right back in the saddle. Same thing, essentially. You turn a fearful situation into something less fearful through pleasure, triumph, or survival. Or a combination of all three.
You can reduce the fear in your life and enhance your Future with your efforts.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Perceptions and Attitude
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven. – Milton
You ever know anyone who seemed bound and determined to be miserable? It’s a beautiful day out, and they’ll talk about how much it’s going to rain that night. They get a raise at work, and they complain about how much more in taxes they’re going to have to pay. They could have a great day, except for the papercut, and that’s the part they’ll talk about. They prefer being miserable, no matter how good or lousy their lives are.
Then, there are their counterparts, their opposites. They’re the ones who will tell you that the rain is good weather for ducks or the lawns really needed it. If they get in a car accident and break a leg, they’ll thank god that no one else was hurt or that at least they’re alive. They see the silver lining in everything, or at the very least see a way to turn even the worst of times into an advantage.
Some people are born like this. Some people become this from a lifetime of habit. Some people choose to be like this. Your life is as good or as lousy as you want it to be, not just because of the way it really is but also because of the way you perceive it. If you want more heaven in your life, put it there. You can do it.
You ever know anyone who seemed bound and determined to be miserable? It’s a beautiful day out, and they’ll talk about how much it’s going to rain that night. They get a raise at work, and they complain about how much more in taxes they’re going to have to pay. They could have a great day, except for the papercut, and that’s the part they’ll talk about. They prefer being miserable, no matter how good or lousy their lives are.
Then, there are their counterparts, their opposites. They’re the ones who will tell you that the rain is good weather for ducks or the lawns really needed it. If they get in a car accident and break a leg, they’ll thank god that no one else was hurt or that at least they’re alive. They see the silver lining in everything, or at the very least see a way to turn even the worst of times into an advantage.
Some people are born like this. Some people become this from a lifetime of habit. Some people choose to be like this. Your life is as good or as lousy as you want it to be, not just because of the way it really is but also because of the way you perceive it. If you want more heaven in your life, put it there. You can do it.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Worrying (2)
We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our lives, fearing the future, discontent with the present, unable to take in the idea of dying, unable to sit still. - Lewis Thomas
Worry can be useful, if it prompts you into action. Worry as an action by itself is useless. Though the phrase “don’t worry” is common, it’s all but impossible to obey without action. You cannot will away worry. You must act or distract.
Take action against that which you are worrying. If you are worrying that your car will not make the long trip, have it checked by a mechanic. Get the oil changed before you go. Wash all the windows, headlights, and taillights so that nothing will impede your sight or others’ sight of you. Make certain that the air pressure in the tires is correct. Get rid of all the garbage or extra weight (unless you’re headed into snow or ice country, in which case extra weight may be exactly what you need). Take action to make the likelihood of what you fear as small as possible. That’s really what worry is – fear.
If you have taken all the action that you can, and you still worry, then do something else to distract yourself. Or, if you cannot distract yourself, find something you can do on autopilot. Dishes, sewing, weeding, vacuuming – none of these things really take any of brain power. If you do them while you’re worrying, you still worry, but your house is cleaner.
Animals live too much in the present to worry. We, as humans, are the ones who have part of ourselves in the past and part in the future. When those parts are in conflict or fear, then we worry.
Do you fear the Future? Why? Either you can change it – in which case take action – or you cannot – in which case turn to distraction. Worry is common in situations like getting a test back, sitting in for a performance review, or speaking in public. But, these things cannot be changed in the present time. You’ve already taken the test. You’ve already done your work for the past month, six months, year, however long since your last review. You cannot change these things. You have already practiced your speech, though some people worry about screwing up when they get on stage. That is in the future, and you really can’t do a whole lot about it, other than practice more (act) or calm yourself down so that you can do your best (distract).
Are you discontent with the present? Act. Don’t distract. Too many people distract themselves with TV, food, an affair, sports, and many other things. The funny things about the present, though, is that the problems in it follow you into the future. If you’re discontent about your small house, and you distract yourself instead of taking action to change it, you will still have a small house in the future. If you’re in a lousy marriage, same problem. There are times when these things will change for you. Your house may burn down or your spouse may leave you, but in most cases, what you have now is what you’ll have in the future, unless you act. Worry because you’re discontented with the present is like complaining about the weather – pointless. Act, or at the very least stop complaining so you stop annoying the rest of us.
Are you unable to take the idea of dying? Don’t blame you. Most people can’t. Most humans like to have a certain amount of control over their lives, and dying is a huge uncontrollable thing. Not even suicide is completely controllable. While you may think you have a foolproof plan to kill yourself, so did thousands and thousands of others throughout time who tried and failed. You may just end up even worse off than you are now. (Yes, that is possible.) You can’t know when or how you’re going to die, and unless you have unshakable faith, you don’t know what’s going to happen afterwards. It’s a scary thing. But you have no control over it, so it’s not something you should worry over. Fear it, sure, if you want. But put your fear on a shelf at the back of your brain or heart, because it’s not going to do you any good.
Are you unable to sit still? Act or distract until you’re in control of yourself again. What do I mean “in control”? You’re not out of control, are you? If you are unable to sit still, even when you try to sit still, then you are out of control. You cannot control yourself enough to force your body to sit still for an amount of time you determine. Act or distract until you can do what you want.
The Future will unfold in its time, no matter how much you worry. But, you can shape it, if you act. Don’t let worry prevent you from birthing your Future. Let it only guide you away from incorrect actions or towards correct ones.
Worry can be useful, if it prompts you into action. Worry as an action by itself is useless. Though the phrase “don’t worry” is common, it’s all but impossible to obey without action. You cannot will away worry. You must act or distract.
Take action against that which you are worrying. If you are worrying that your car will not make the long trip, have it checked by a mechanic. Get the oil changed before you go. Wash all the windows, headlights, and taillights so that nothing will impede your sight or others’ sight of you. Make certain that the air pressure in the tires is correct. Get rid of all the garbage or extra weight (unless you’re headed into snow or ice country, in which case extra weight may be exactly what you need). Take action to make the likelihood of what you fear as small as possible. That’s really what worry is – fear.
If you have taken all the action that you can, and you still worry, then do something else to distract yourself. Or, if you cannot distract yourself, find something you can do on autopilot. Dishes, sewing, weeding, vacuuming – none of these things really take any of brain power. If you do them while you’re worrying, you still worry, but your house is cleaner.
Animals live too much in the present to worry. We, as humans, are the ones who have part of ourselves in the past and part in the future. When those parts are in conflict or fear, then we worry.
Do you fear the Future? Why? Either you can change it – in which case take action – or you cannot – in which case turn to distraction. Worry is common in situations like getting a test back, sitting in for a performance review, or speaking in public. But, these things cannot be changed in the present time. You’ve already taken the test. You’ve already done your work for the past month, six months, year, however long since your last review. You cannot change these things. You have already practiced your speech, though some people worry about screwing up when they get on stage. That is in the future, and you really can’t do a whole lot about it, other than practice more (act) or calm yourself down so that you can do your best (distract).
Are you discontent with the present? Act. Don’t distract. Too many people distract themselves with TV, food, an affair, sports, and many other things. The funny things about the present, though, is that the problems in it follow you into the future. If you’re discontent about your small house, and you distract yourself instead of taking action to change it, you will still have a small house in the future. If you’re in a lousy marriage, same problem. There are times when these things will change for you. Your house may burn down or your spouse may leave you, but in most cases, what you have now is what you’ll have in the future, unless you act. Worry because you’re discontented with the present is like complaining about the weather – pointless. Act, or at the very least stop complaining so you stop annoying the rest of us.
Are you unable to take the idea of dying? Don’t blame you. Most people can’t. Most humans like to have a certain amount of control over their lives, and dying is a huge uncontrollable thing. Not even suicide is completely controllable. While you may think you have a foolproof plan to kill yourself, so did thousands and thousands of others throughout time who tried and failed. You may just end up even worse off than you are now. (Yes, that is possible.) You can’t know when or how you’re going to die, and unless you have unshakable faith, you don’t know what’s going to happen afterwards. It’s a scary thing. But you have no control over it, so it’s not something you should worry over. Fear it, sure, if you want. But put your fear on a shelf at the back of your brain or heart, because it’s not going to do you any good.
Are you unable to sit still? Act or distract until you’re in control of yourself again. What do I mean “in control”? You’re not out of control, are you? If you are unable to sit still, even when you try to sit still, then you are out of control. You cannot control yourself enough to force your body to sit still for an amount of time you determine. Act or distract until you can do what you want.
The Future will unfold in its time, no matter how much you worry. But, you can shape it, if you act. Don’t let worry prevent you from birthing your Future. Let it only guide you away from incorrect actions or towards correct ones.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Courage
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. - Anais Nin
Again, it’s about your comfort zone. There are people who never leave more than two miles around their parents’ home. They know their neighborhood, and they don’t need to leave it to find what they want. Or so they think. It’s hard to know what you want if you know very little. It’s like asking a paint store for blue paint. If they give you royal blue, then you’re happy. Unless, of course, you know of and perhaps wanted periwinkle, cornflower, baby blue, or aqua.
For others it’s not a matter of physical limitations. The limitations are mental or social. Some people know only accountants or people in their company or people in their club. They have a small group of people and situations they encounter, all very similar to one another. There’s not a whole lot of adventure in jetting off to Europe if you always go to the same hotel with your friends from back home.
What’s wrong with doing things you’re comfortable with? What’s wrong with staying in your comfort zone? Everything, if the Future you want is outside of it. If you want to be a world traveler, but you refuse to take a trip out of state, then there’s a problem. If you want to have a wide variety of friends with whom you can discuss all sorts of political and international issues, yet you won’t join any groups that have different people, not even a newsletter, then there’s a problem. If your Future is within your current comfort zone, congratulations and well done! But if it’s not…
Courage will expand your life. Even if you fail at first, try again and fail better. Or perhaps even succeed. If something is too scary for you, break it down into smaller pieces. Each piece you accomplish is another step towards your Future. Courage is doing what you don’t want to do, because you want what’s on the other side of it.
Two main ways of making things less scary and thus bumping up your courage to actually do them – breaking them down and familiarization. I’ve discussed breaking them down in other posts, so let’s take a look at familiarization.
Do you want to travel the world? Read a book – preferably a picture book – about the countries you want to see. Learn their languages. Get a pen pal from that country. In time, the country will seem more familiar to you, less scary, and you will be able to take that next step of a trip to one foreign country.
Do you want to be more assertive? Start saying hi to people you know but don’t normally say hi to. Join a discussion group (in real life or on line) and participate. Even a book club would work well. Write complaint letters to companies that give you bad service. Eventually, you’ll be able to tell the manager in person about the bad service rather than take it for now and vent later.
Do you want a new job? Audit a course (check with your university or college to see if they allow this) in the profession. Sign up for the newsletter of one of the profession’s organizations (most professions have one or more). Start talking to other people and see if anyone knows someone who is in that field. See if there are any library books about it or websites.
Learn more about what you want so that it becomes familiar to you. The familiar is less scary than the strange. Courage, and you will achieve your Future.
Again, it’s about your comfort zone. There are people who never leave more than two miles around their parents’ home. They know their neighborhood, and they don’t need to leave it to find what they want. Or so they think. It’s hard to know what you want if you know very little. It’s like asking a paint store for blue paint. If they give you royal blue, then you’re happy. Unless, of course, you know of and perhaps wanted periwinkle, cornflower, baby blue, or aqua.
For others it’s not a matter of physical limitations. The limitations are mental or social. Some people know only accountants or people in their company or people in their club. They have a small group of people and situations they encounter, all very similar to one another. There’s not a whole lot of adventure in jetting off to Europe if you always go to the same hotel with your friends from back home.
What’s wrong with doing things you’re comfortable with? What’s wrong with staying in your comfort zone? Everything, if the Future you want is outside of it. If you want to be a world traveler, but you refuse to take a trip out of state, then there’s a problem. If you want to have a wide variety of friends with whom you can discuss all sorts of political and international issues, yet you won’t join any groups that have different people, not even a newsletter, then there’s a problem. If your Future is within your current comfort zone, congratulations and well done! But if it’s not…
Courage will expand your life. Even if you fail at first, try again and fail better. Or perhaps even succeed. If something is too scary for you, break it down into smaller pieces. Each piece you accomplish is another step towards your Future. Courage is doing what you don’t want to do, because you want what’s on the other side of it.
Two main ways of making things less scary and thus bumping up your courage to actually do them – breaking them down and familiarization. I’ve discussed breaking them down in other posts, so let’s take a look at familiarization.
Do you want to travel the world? Read a book – preferably a picture book – about the countries you want to see. Learn their languages. Get a pen pal from that country. In time, the country will seem more familiar to you, less scary, and you will be able to take that next step of a trip to one foreign country.
Do you want to be more assertive? Start saying hi to people you know but don’t normally say hi to. Join a discussion group (in real life or on line) and participate. Even a book club would work well. Write complaint letters to companies that give you bad service. Eventually, you’ll be able to tell the manager in person about the bad service rather than take it for now and vent later.
Do you want a new job? Audit a course (check with your university or college to see if they allow this) in the profession. Sign up for the newsletter of one of the profession’s organizations (most professions have one or more). Start talking to other people and see if anyone knows someone who is in that field. See if there are any library books about it or websites.
Learn more about what you want so that it becomes familiar to you. The familiar is less scary than the strange. Courage, and you will achieve your Future.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Unexpected Success
I learned this at least by my experiment that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau
Have you ever had something go incredibly well? Better than you expected? Better than you even thought it might? Or have you ever had a great idea or a sudden need and discovered yourself right outside the correct store or a coworker whose brother was an expert in whatever you needed? There are all kinds of ways that the universe will give you what you want and what you need when you go after the life you want.
If you don’t believe in a Higher Power or if you believe that a coincidence is just a coincidence, then read this paragraph and no further. It’s a similar situation as when you (or someone you know) get pregnant, and you see all around you advertisements for baby clothes, pregnant women, or shelf upon shelf of baby food in the grocery store. Those things have always been there. You just didn’t notice them. But now that your life is affected by babies, the baby-related items stick out in your memory. Life and success can be a lot like that. You may never know that your coworker has a brother who owns an art gallery until you start to work at your dream of painting and casually mention it at work. If you hadn’t started up your dream, if you hadn’t been confident enough in your abilities, then you wouldn’t have mentioned it. So you wouldn’t have known. There are a lot of different connections that people have. A person’s life is varied and rich. But you might not know that until you say something. And you might not say something until you start creating your Future, working on your dream, living your Life. And thus, in the “common hours” before your created, worked, and lived, you didn’t know just how much help was only a person or two away. Your success would be “unexpected”.
Me, I believe in a Higher Power. I believe that this Higher Power helps those who help themselves. I believe everything I wrote in the previous paragraph, but I also believe that the Higher Power will help you out. This help may take the form of gifts, loans, contacts, opportunities, or troubles. Even your troubles may be a good thing. They might slow you down if you’re not ready, test your resolve until you are certain that this is what you want no matter what, discourage you from a bad opportunity that looks really good, or strengthen you by forcing you to learn skills that you just didn’t want to learn before. You can get something out of adversity, if you look hard enough (and if you’re willing to get something out of it).
Your Future most likely will be even more wonderful that you had imagined, but only if you advance in the direction of your dreams and keep confidence in yourself and your goals.
Have you ever had something go incredibly well? Better than you expected? Better than you even thought it might? Or have you ever had a great idea or a sudden need and discovered yourself right outside the correct store or a coworker whose brother was an expert in whatever you needed? There are all kinds of ways that the universe will give you what you want and what you need when you go after the life you want.
If you don’t believe in a Higher Power or if you believe that a coincidence is just a coincidence, then read this paragraph and no further. It’s a similar situation as when you (or someone you know) get pregnant, and you see all around you advertisements for baby clothes, pregnant women, or shelf upon shelf of baby food in the grocery store. Those things have always been there. You just didn’t notice them. But now that your life is affected by babies, the baby-related items stick out in your memory. Life and success can be a lot like that. You may never know that your coworker has a brother who owns an art gallery until you start to work at your dream of painting and casually mention it at work. If you hadn’t started up your dream, if you hadn’t been confident enough in your abilities, then you wouldn’t have mentioned it. So you wouldn’t have known. There are a lot of different connections that people have. A person’s life is varied and rich. But you might not know that until you say something. And you might not say something until you start creating your Future, working on your dream, living your Life. And thus, in the “common hours” before your created, worked, and lived, you didn’t know just how much help was only a person or two away. Your success would be “unexpected”.
Me, I believe in a Higher Power. I believe that this Higher Power helps those who help themselves. I believe everything I wrote in the previous paragraph, but I also believe that the Higher Power will help you out. This help may take the form of gifts, loans, contacts, opportunities, or troubles. Even your troubles may be a good thing. They might slow you down if you’re not ready, test your resolve until you are certain that this is what you want no matter what, discourage you from a bad opportunity that looks really good, or strengthen you by forcing you to learn skills that you just didn’t want to learn before. You can get something out of adversity, if you look hard enough (and if you’re willing to get something out of it).
Your Future most likely will be even more wonderful that you had imagined, but only if you advance in the direction of your dreams and keep confidence in yourself and your goals.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Affecting Others
I realize that making myself a better, strong, more aware person will affect those around me and perhaps others through them. - Rebecca Latimer
This is why we concentrate so much on ourselves, because it is through example that we best get others to change. It is by being loving that we encourage others to love. It is by being generous that we encourage others to give. We have all known people whose motto is “Do as I say, not as I do”. How effective is that? Did you really do what they said for longer than you were forced to?
I want the Future to be more loving, more creative, more giving, more peaceful, and I can do that by starting with me. I be more loving, more creative, more giving, and more peaceful, and I bring a little more of each into the world. I make that change, and even if no one else follows my example, at least that little bit is still in this world.
You never know who’s watching you, who is inspired by you, who may hear of your deeds or kindness or words and decide to make changes as well. You don’t know all of the effect you will have on the world, so be what you want to see, and others will follow your example.
This is why we concentrate so much on ourselves, because it is through example that we best get others to change. It is by being loving that we encourage others to love. It is by being generous that we encourage others to give. We have all known people whose motto is “Do as I say, not as I do”. How effective is that? Did you really do what they said for longer than you were forced to?
I want the Future to be more loving, more creative, more giving, more peaceful, and I can do that by starting with me. I be more loving, more creative, more giving, and more peaceful, and I bring a little more of each into the world. I make that change, and even if no one else follows my example, at least that little bit is still in this world.
You never know who’s watching you, who is inspired by you, who may hear of your deeds or kindness or words and decide to make changes as well. You don’t know all of the effect you will have on the world, so be what you want to see, and others will follow your example.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Results
It does not matter if today's results do not show. They will in time. - Tracy from Flylady
Everything is very rushed, according to the media. Everything is “buy now” and “for a limited time only” and “only two weeks to a new you”. It leaves us with the impression that unless something happens right now, it’s not going to happen. That’s not true. Unless you give up, of course. If you allow your impatience to convince you to give up, then what you’ve been working on, working towards, may never come to be.
I won’t go into how the Grand Canyon took eons to make. It took eons. We, as humans, don’t have eons. We have years, decades. But not eons. So, let’s go with some things that took less than a lifetime to create. Humans, first of all. A human takes nine months, roughly, from conception to birth in order to be created. Each day seems very much like the previous during this time, especially during the first 3 months, before the mother begins to show. However, this is when some of the quickest changes are taking place. They’re just small, compared to what we can see.
A beautiful building can take years to complete, especially if you have to get rid of the old building that was on the site before it. Again, each day doesn’t look a whole lot different from the day before, but it is. The small changes keep piling up and making a noticeable difference between then and now.
The last Harry Potter book was published two years after book number 6. It took some hard core fans less than a day to read it. But it took two years to write. I’m fairly confident that J.K. Rowling did not wait for 1 year and 11 months and then write her book in 30 days or less. In this case, the minor results show – another page written, one more piece of editing done, an entire chapter complete, but the whole and complete package took time.
If there is something you want, be prepared for it to take some time. Maybe this time is mental preparation. Perhaps there’s something you need to “psyche yourself up for”, and that can take weeks. These weeks are not wasted, because they were needed to get you ready for what you need to do.
Maybe this is physical preparation. Maybe you want to get a sculpted body with well defined muscles. Depending on where you start, you could have a long way to go before you get there. And if you’re very much overweight, it could be quite some time before you can see the results with your eyes. But the results are there, buried beneath your skin. Slowly, your body loses its layers of fat and your muscles grow a little bit more, until one day you can see the muscle definition when you flex. This is a great day, and if you keep at it through those times of “no results”, you will get there.
It could be spiritual preparation, something you have to pray over, discuss with your spiritual advisor, or reconcile ethically. You may have been brought up one way but now believe another (especially true if your parents were abusers of any kind), and you have a difficult time to align your actions with your new beliefs. Be kind to yourself and keep taking steps to the goal.
It could be emotional preparation. Perhaps the “psyching yourself up for it” isn’t just a mental process, but an emotional one. Do you need to tell someone you love them? Do you need to leave someone? Either one of those things can be emotionally difficult, and you could need some time to get yourself prepared. Just make certain you’re not using “preparation” when what you’re really doing is “procrastinating”.
Not every wonderful thing that will happen to you or because of you will be instantaneous. Not everything will happen right away or when you expect or as soon as you expect. But the small results will happen, and they will build up over time, and eventually, what you build will come true. You can birth the Future one step at a time.
Everything is very rushed, according to the media. Everything is “buy now” and “for a limited time only” and “only two weeks to a new you”. It leaves us with the impression that unless something happens right now, it’s not going to happen. That’s not true. Unless you give up, of course. If you allow your impatience to convince you to give up, then what you’ve been working on, working towards, may never come to be.
I won’t go into how the Grand Canyon took eons to make. It took eons. We, as humans, don’t have eons. We have years, decades. But not eons. So, let’s go with some things that took less than a lifetime to create. Humans, first of all. A human takes nine months, roughly, from conception to birth in order to be created. Each day seems very much like the previous during this time, especially during the first 3 months, before the mother begins to show. However, this is when some of the quickest changes are taking place. They’re just small, compared to what we can see.
A beautiful building can take years to complete, especially if you have to get rid of the old building that was on the site before it. Again, each day doesn’t look a whole lot different from the day before, but it is. The small changes keep piling up and making a noticeable difference between then and now.
The last Harry Potter book was published two years after book number 6. It took some hard core fans less than a day to read it. But it took two years to write. I’m fairly confident that J.K. Rowling did not wait for 1 year and 11 months and then write her book in 30 days or less. In this case, the minor results show – another page written, one more piece of editing done, an entire chapter complete, but the whole and complete package took time.
If there is something you want, be prepared for it to take some time. Maybe this time is mental preparation. Perhaps there’s something you need to “psyche yourself up for”, and that can take weeks. These weeks are not wasted, because they were needed to get you ready for what you need to do.
Maybe this is physical preparation. Maybe you want to get a sculpted body with well defined muscles. Depending on where you start, you could have a long way to go before you get there. And if you’re very much overweight, it could be quite some time before you can see the results with your eyes. But the results are there, buried beneath your skin. Slowly, your body loses its layers of fat and your muscles grow a little bit more, until one day you can see the muscle definition when you flex. This is a great day, and if you keep at it through those times of “no results”, you will get there.
It could be spiritual preparation, something you have to pray over, discuss with your spiritual advisor, or reconcile ethically. You may have been brought up one way but now believe another (especially true if your parents were abusers of any kind), and you have a difficult time to align your actions with your new beliefs. Be kind to yourself and keep taking steps to the goal.
It could be emotional preparation. Perhaps the “psyching yourself up for it” isn’t just a mental process, but an emotional one. Do you need to tell someone you love them? Do you need to leave someone? Either one of those things can be emotionally difficult, and you could need some time to get yourself prepared. Just make certain you’re not using “preparation” when what you’re really doing is “procrastinating”.
Not every wonderful thing that will happen to you or because of you will be instantaneous. Not everything will happen right away or when you expect or as soon as you expect. But the small results will happen, and they will build up over time, and eventually, what you build will come true. You can birth the Future one step at a time.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Anniversaries and Kindness
It’s been just over a year since I found out I had to have surgery. It seems both a lot longer and a lot shorter than that. That’s the way with a lot of “first-after”s in our life, a good number of them sad. The first Christmas after a loved one dies. The first spring after being forced to move. The first work day after you were fired from your last job. Life is full of “first-after”s, but they pass. And the “second-after” isn’t as hard. “This too shall pass” is an ancient saying, but it is still true. If you allow yourself to grieve and do not hold on to the pain but let it flow from you, the pain will pass with time. Will you ever be “all better”, “as good as new”, “just like before”. Probably not. Hopefully not. Because if you don’t change, then there was no reason for you to have gone through it. The Future is shaped by change and by inertia. The Future is created by change alone. Create your Future, and be kind to yourself during your “first-after”s.
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