Worrying (2)

We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our lives, fearing the future, discontent with the present, unable to take in the idea of dying, unable to sit still. - Lewis Thomas

Worry can be useful, if it prompts you into action. Worry as an action by itself is useless. Though the phrase “don’t worry” is common, it’s all but impossible to obey without action. You cannot will away worry. You must act or distract.

Take action against that which you are worrying. If you are worrying that your car will not make the long trip, have it checked by a mechanic. Get the oil changed before you go. Wash all the windows, headlights, and taillights so that nothing will impede your sight or others’ sight of you. Make certain that the air pressure in the tires is correct. Get rid of all the garbage or extra weight (unless you’re headed into snow or ice country, in which case extra weight may be exactly what you need). Take action to make the likelihood of what you fear as small as possible. That’s really what worry is – fear.

If you have taken all the action that you can, and you still worry, then do something else to distract yourself. Or, if you cannot distract yourself, find something you can do on autopilot. Dishes, sewing, weeding, vacuuming – none of these things really take any of brain power. If you do them while you’re worrying, you still worry, but your house is cleaner.

Animals live too much in the present to worry. We, as humans, are the ones who have part of ourselves in the past and part in the future. When those parts are in conflict or fear, then we worry.

Do you fear the Future? Why? Either you can change it – in which case take action – or you cannot – in which case turn to distraction. Worry is common in situations like getting a test back, sitting in for a performance review, or speaking in public. But, these things cannot be changed in the present time. You’ve already taken the test. You’ve already done your work for the past month, six months, year, however long since your last review. You cannot change these things. You have already practiced your speech, though some people worry about screwing up when they get on stage. That is in the future, and you really can’t do a whole lot about it, other than practice more (act) or calm yourself down so that you can do your best (distract).

Are you discontent with the present? Act. Don’t distract. Too many people distract themselves with TV, food, an affair, sports, and many other things. The funny things about the present, though, is that the problems in it follow you into the future. If you’re discontent about your small house, and you distract yourself instead of taking action to change it, you will still have a small house in the future. If you’re in a lousy marriage, same problem. There are times when these things will change for you. Your house may burn down or your spouse may leave you, but in most cases, what you have now is what you’ll have in the future, unless you act. Worry because you’re discontented with the present is like complaining about the weather – pointless. Act, or at the very least stop complaining so you stop annoying the rest of us.

Are you unable to take the idea of dying? Don’t blame you. Most people can’t. Most humans like to have a certain amount of control over their lives, and dying is a huge uncontrollable thing. Not even suicide is completely controllable. While you may think you have a foolproof plan to kill yourself, so did thousands and thousands of others throughout time who tried and failed. You may just end up even worse off than you are now. (Yes, that is possible.) You can’t know when or how you’re going to die, and unless you have unshakable faith, you don’t know what’s going to happen afterwards. It’s a scary thing. But you have no control over it, so it’s not something you should worry over. Fear it, sure, if you want. But put your fear on a shelf at the back of your brain or heart, because it’s not going to do you any good.

Are you unable to sit still? Act or distract until you’re in control of yourself again. What do I mean “in control”? You’re not out of control, are you? If you are unable to sit still, even when you try to sit still, then you are out of control. You cannot control yourself enough to force your body to sit still for an amount of time you determine. Act or distract until you can do what you want.

The Future will unfold in its time, no matter how much you worry. But, you can shape it, if you act. Don’t let worry prevent you from birthing your Future. Let it only guide you away from incorrect actions or towards correct ones.