Tendency Towards Good

The tendency of man’s nature to good is like the tendency of water to flow downwards. – Mencius

Not everyone would agree with this quote. Some people think that humans are inherently selfish or evil. I think they’re wrong.

People point to the newspapers and the broadcasts, showing all the murders and thefts and horrors that go on in the world. They claim this as proof that humans are awful things and that we are destined to destroy one another and ourselves.

I see it as just the opposite. The reason that horror is news is because it is unusual. Horror is horrible because it goes against the normal process of most people’s lives. If everyone witnessed a rape or a murder every day, then so what? But we don’t. While many women are being raped every day, most are not. While a lot of murders are happening every day, the number of murder victims is an infinitesimal fraction of the total number of people. Rape, murder, theft, and all other forms of “news” are not the norm. They are the aberrations. This is why they are news.

Every day, people around the world help out others. They give money and time to charities. They are kind to their neighbors. They raise their kids to be decent human beings.

“There is hope for the future” is such a pessimistic statement. It implies that things are so awful now that we have to wait for the future to be decent. Or, the person saying it means that they were so certain that the future was going to suck and now they are pleasantly surprised that it might not. For pity’s sake.

There is not just hope for the future, there is certainty. Are there more atrocities now than there were a century ago? I doubt it. Not when you factor in the increased number of people in the world. And then toss in the fact that discretion is no longer a virtue to the media. Franklin Roosevelt was never shown in his wheelchair, but we get daily updates on the colon surgery of the vice president. It’s sad. But, just because there’s more atrocities reported does not mean there are more atrocities.

The future will hold many wonderful human beings, and you are one of them.

Improvement

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for? – Robert Browning

This quote troubles me a little. Now that I think about it, I’m not certain that I should include it in the blog. There are two sides to it, or rather one side that continues on longer that I would want.

Trying for something you want, something you don’t have currently – whether that be a thing or a situation or a circumstance – is a good thing. However, never being satisfied with what you have is a bad thing. Improving your life until you are content is one thing. Never being content is another.

Your life (most likely) could be better, and improving your life, going beyond your comfort zone, trying new things, are all wonderful things to get that life that you deserve. But, if enough is never enough, then you are in store for a whole lot of misery. So where do you stop? When is enough enough?

That’s not a question anyone can answer except for you, though there are plenty of people who will do their best to answer it for you. People who want you to stay on the rat race, people who think that you’re getting too big for your britches, people who don’t want you to succeed more than they do – all of these people will tell you when it’s time to stop and when it’s time to keep going. That doesn’t mean that they’re answers are the right ones for you.

On the other hand, your family may have a legitimate observation or two. If you’re working 80 hour weeks to provide for a family who already has enough, then they may call you on it. If you’re headed for burn out, or if you are spurning your former friends because they don’t have as shiny a car as you do now, or if you’re becoming a jerk, then hopefully someone will call you on it. And hopefully you’ll listen.

Listen, when someone says to you “reach” or “be content”, but listen to the “why” behind it. Why are they telling you that? Don’t assume that because they say so that it’s automatically right or automatically wrong. But take the time to make a quick check of your own feelings on the matter. Do you have enough? Should you try for more? Decide for yourself. It’s your life.

The Whole Loaf

Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little. – Putarch

I read a novel where a woman was wondering if she should accept the nomination as vice presidential candidate, since the presidential candidate was offering her only some of what she wanted for women’s rights. A wise old woman told her to take the job. She said that you take the half the loaf and then another slice and another slice and before the other person knows it, you’ve got the whole loaf. That’s perseverance.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Someone ate a bicycle like that. It took him something like a year, but he did it. Is that your aspiration? To eat a bicycle? You can do it. Take one bite first. To make a million dollars? You can do it. Make one thousand dollars first. To write a novel? You can do it. Write one page first.

And then you do it again. You take another bite. You make another thousand. You write another page. And then you do it again. And again. And again. And if you lose the money or your computer eats your novel or whatever tragedy befalls you, you make a thousand dollars, you write one page, and you do it all again. You persevere. Because that’s what it takes to achieve your goals – little bits over and over again.

Circumstances

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. – George Bernard Shaw

There are people who start with nothing and end up brilliant doctors or multi-millionaires or the biggest name on TV and radio. There are people who start with everything in life and waste it all on booze and drugs. There are people who have awful, horrible parents and become a success anyway. There are people who continue to say at the age of 45, “If only my parents had believed in me.”

How long do you think you’re going to get away with it? How much of your life gets to be blamed on your parents or the circumstances of your birth? At what point is it no longer “their fault” and something you’re allowing or causing to happen?

Sadly, for some people, all the bad in their life will forever be someone else’s fault. And that’s not only false but also a trap, because if it’s someone else’s fault, then someone else is in control of your life. And if someone else is in control, then you aren’t, and you won’t ever be able to get out of whatever hole you’re in.

Even if someone else is to blame for how your life is right now, you are in charge of what your life is like tomorrow. Yes, there are things that are beyond your control – car accidents, earthquakes, someone breaking into your house and stealing everything. But there are things within your control, and if you don’t like those things, then change them. If the circumstances of your life are not what you want, then make them different. Take control, take charge, take responsibility for you, your life, and the circumstances in which you live. Only then can you shape your life and create your Future.

Elevate Your Life

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. – Thoreau

Which is more important in this sentence – the “unquestionable” or the “conscious”? They’re both very important.

Your ability to improve your life is unquestionable. It is certain. You can improve your life. No matter how bleak it looks, it is possible for you to improve it.

But, it takes conscious effort. You have to make it happen. It’s not just a “sit back and wait” sort of thing. It takes you consciously – thinking, aware, intentionally – making the effort to improve your life.

Can your life improve by accident? Through no effort of your own? Sure. Miracles occur. Is it likely to? Not really. Not nearly as much as if you put in some effort.

It is possible for you to improve your life, if you intentionally make the effort. It’s a wonderful thing. Don’t give up hope. It may not happen right away, but it’ll happen a whole lot sooner than if you wait a year before you start making the effort. Good luck.

All The Good You Can

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. – John Wesley

There are always opportunities to help. There are always chances to do good. No matter what the situation, you can make it a little better, if by nothing else than by not complaining unnecessarily. Your attitude can make a slight difference, even if nothing else you say or do does.

Think about all the kind words that were ever said to you, every time someone held the door open for you even though they didn’t need to, every time someone said “Have a nice day” and sounded sincere. Did these times make your day just a little better? Perhaps even your life, in the case of words that were inspiring as well as kind? What if the person had done the opposite? Said something mean, let the door slam in your face, not even bothered to say good bye? Would these things have made your life a little worse?

The ripple effect of a person’s actions has been said so often that it’s in danger of becoming a cliché. However, clichés are also often true. What you do can have consequences you don’t know. You may never know. And it is precisely because you can never know what effect your actions will have that you must do the good you can. You don’t know what’ll happen when you do that good thing, so you do it just in case.

The cynics among you are wondering, “What about all the times that you do a good thing and it backfires on you?” How often does that happen? Really? Every time you do a good thing? Even half the time? If it isn’t every time, then why not do the good you can for those times when it actually does good? Also, check out those times when it does backfire. Why does it backfire? When does it backfire? Is it when you think you know what’s best for someone else? Is it when you don’t ask permission to do something that alters another’s life? Is it when you barge into someone else’s business when what they really want is some privacy? Sometimes, with some people, you need to be cautious that what you do is really good. But not every time, and not with every person.

Do the good you can, because it will ripple into the Future, making it better.

A Little Bit

Yesterday I didn’t go into work as usual. I first had a doctor’s appointment. I left my home 15 minutes later than I usually did, and that made a lot of difference. Traffic, for some reason, is much heavier at that time that it is 15 minutes earlier. It took me half again as much time to get to where I wanted to go.

Recently, I noticed that one of the two bulbs in my bedroom light had burned out. The difference in light quality is staggering. Just one bulb makes a lot of difference in how a room is lit.

A little bit can make a huge difference. What if you ate just 10 calories less in a day? In a year, you’d lose a pound. Just one bite of food less in a day, and you lose a pound every year. What if you wrote half a page every day? In two years, you’d have an entire novel’s worth of writing done. Just half a page. Write just one paragraph, and you’d have it in four years. How many people do you know that are going to write the great American novel “some day”? Most of them won’t. But just a little bit of change in your day can make certain you do.

Do you have seasonal affect disorder? Then you know how much a difference it can make changing a light bulb from a 40 watt bulb to a 100 watt bulb. It’ll affect your attitude, which will affect your life and everyone around you. Just a little bit of change.

One less cigarette – even half a cigarette less. One less shopping trip in a week. One fewer videos rented. One quarter hour less on the computer or the TV. All these things can add up and help you create a different life. The changes you make don’t have to be big to be effective. They just have to be made.

Face to Face

Face to Face: Women Writers on Faith, Mysticism, and Awakening, edited by Linda Hogan and Brenda Peterson, is an excellent book. It covers a wide range of spiritual beliefs, including Christianity, Judaism, shamanism, Wicca, and several others. It’s a series of short essays or excerpts from longer works by woman on their spiritual beliefs. It’s a fascinating read and certain to have something resonate with any reader.

Appreciation Day (one day late)

For this month’s appreciation day, I tried to send word to J. K. Rowling how much I enjoyed her books. Unfortunately, I could not find a way to contact her. Her official site was very confusing. So I’ll say it here instead.

I really loved the Harry Potter books, and I wish there were more of them. I loved most of the movies, and I wish that they could have been done better, to better show all the intricacies and great things in the books. The books and movies have provided me with hours of entertainment, and I appreciate that.

Reaching Out

Very few of us want to appear weak, but a lot of us have different definitions of what weak means. To some, being weak means crying. To others, being unable to cry is a sign of weakness. Some look at physical strength or stamina, others to mental agility. But one definition that a lot of us use for weak is needing help.

Because we don’t want to appear weak, we don’t want to admit we need help. Which means we don’t ask for help, even when we need it desperately. Which is sad, and cuts us off from our friends, neighbors, family.

Think of a basket or a cord. Each time we interact positively with our friends, family, neighbors, we add another reed or piece of twine. The basket is strengthened. The cord is sturdier. Our relationship grows. And when we are in desperate need, we can return to these same people and get the help we need, because we have already created something strong between us.

The tricky part is not asking for help more often than you give. Not just give help, but give at all. You can also give advice, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to complain to, a batch of cookies, and thanks. When you give, you add to the bond between you and the other person, just as they added to it when they gave to you. In giving and receiving, you strengthen what is between you. In taking only, you create resentment that will ruin the good will and spoil what you’ve created.

Some people will give only. They don’t want to take. They don’t want to appear weak. But, they don’t create the bonds needed. They don’t give other people the opportunities to help you. Just as with those who only take, those who only give also spoil what is between them and others.

Giving and taking, sharing, creates bonds that can last you through the good times, comfort you when you feel lonely, and help you when you need it most. I want in my Future a community of people who help and give and care for one another. I will create that by giving and taking, and you can too.

Persistence

I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him. – Eleanor Roosevelt

This message has been said before in this blog, and it’ll be said again. Persistence is key. Don’t give up. Keep trying. If you fail, try again until you succeed. Not in the same way, but improve your tries. Conquer your fears. Again and again, people throughout history and the world have known that to do what needs to be done, what you want to do, you need to do it and not give up until it is done. Create your Future as you want it. Don’t settle for something less, just because it’s easier. Create. Try. Succeed.

When Everything Falls Apart

When everything falls apart, what do you do? When things are going to hell in a handbasket, what do you do? When you’re so depressed that opening your eyes, though you’re awake, is just too much, what do you do?

You boil everything down to the essentials, the basics, the necessities – whatever you want to call it. So very much of our lives are trappings, extras, but they’re needed to live a full life. But when everything falls apart, you buck living a full life and you go for survival.

You eat. Even though you don’t want to. Even though everything tastes like ash. Even though you don’t really have the time. You eat. You grab an apple or banana, you stop at a drive through, you get a protein shake. You do something to get nutrients into your body, because your body will tell you when it’s done, and when it is, you’re going to stop whether you like it or not.

You bathe. Even though you don’t want to. Even though you don’t see the point. You clean yourself of the germs and dirt so you don’t get sick. You make yourself presentable in case someone decides to try to rescue you or you need to go and rescue someone else. You bathe not because it will make you feel better than you do right now. You bathe because it will make you feel better than you would if you didn’t. Maintenance more than improvement.

You take care of your dependents. This includes kids and pets. You make certain they have food and water, that they also are clean (because you don’t need a sick dependent right now), that they are safe, that they have access to toilet/cat box/outside (because it’d take you longer to clean it up than it would to make certain that they had somewhere to go).

You sleep. Even though you don’t think you have time. Because you need to be at your best, or at least as good as you can be, and for that, you need energy. The energy you get from food and the energy you get from sleep. Mistakes are made more by sleepy people than rested people. And do you really need to make mistakes right now?

If you are spiritual, you pray. Even though you don’t feel grateful. Even though you rail against the power(s) that be for your current situation. Even though you don’t think you have time. You pray, whether it’s a plea for help, a damnation for circumstances, or a thank you that nothing else has gone wrong today. Because, like with bathing, it’ll feel better than if you don’t. And, you may get an answer.

That’s it. You do those five things. You take care of your body, your dependents, and your spirit. And when your life has fallen apart, these are the pieces you use to start over. These are the first pieces you pick back up. First, and before anything else, you survive. And that is how you will later be able to Live.