Reaching Out

Very few of us want to appear weak, but a lot of us have different definitions of what weak means. To some, being weak means crying. To others, being unable to cry is a sign of weakness. Some look at physical strength or stamina, others to mental agility. But one definition that a lot of us use for weak is needing help.

Because we don’t want to appear weak, we don’t want to admit we need help. Which means we don’t ask for help, even when we need it desperately. Which is sad, and cuts us off from our friends, neighbors, family.

Think of a basket or a cord. Each time we interact positively with our friends, family, neighbors, we add another reed or piece of twine. The basket is strengthened. The cord is sturdier. Our relationship grows. And when we are in desperate need, we can return to these same people and get the help we need, because we have already created something strong between us.

The tricky part is not asking for help more often than you give. Not just give help, but give at all. You can also give advice, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to complain to, a batch of cookies, and thanks. When you give, you add to the bond between you and the other person, just as they added to it when they gave to you. In giving and receiving, you strengthen what is between you. In taking only, you create resentment that will ruin the good will and spoil what you’ve created.

Some people will give only. They don’t want to take. They don’t want to appear weak. But, they don’t create the bonds needed. They don’t give other people the opportunities to help you. Just as with those who only take, those who only give also spoil what is between them and others.

Giving and taking, sharing, creates bonds that can last you through the good times, comfort you when you feel lonely, and help you when you need it most. I want in my Future a community of people who help and give and care for one another. I will create that by giving and taking, and you can too.