Another thing that you'll be taking with you when you start over is your body. You might cut or dye your hair or shave it all off. You might get some cosmetic surgery. But there are things you will either have to change before you leave, after you leave, or just deal with it.
Health is one. If you have a chronic disease or condition now, you will most likely continue to have it. Just because you move to a different climate does not mean that you don't still have health issues. It just means the symptoms have gone away. Any addictions you have will go with you unless you bust them beforehand.
Old injuries, scars, abilities such as being able to walk in high heels or play a musical instrument (which is in part muscle memory), height, and weight will all go with you. You will have to figure out how to change it or make your peace with it. If you are 6'10" and you hate it, you'll still be 6'10" wherever you go. If you're right handed or left handed, you'll still have that.
Figure out what you will be taking with you, or else you may be surprised to see just how much of your "new" life mimics your old.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Packing – Your Habits
Maybe you smoke. Maybe you eat when you’re stressed. Maybe you fidget. Maybe you zone out at the end of the day with an hour or so of TV. None of these things are going to go away just because you move somewhere else.
It can be easier to start or stop a particular habit in a different place, somewhere that the pressure isn’t as intense or the triggers that bring on the urge aren’t present, but it might be harder, too. Before you pack up your life to move somewhere else to start over, take a good long look at what you’re packing. If you don’t want to smoke in the new chapter of your life, quit now. Don’t say that you’re getting in the last bit of pleasure or that it’s too much to make the change and quit smoking at the same time. Quit now, because you don’t know how tenacious your urge to smoke will be in the new place. If you’re doing a very thorough job of making a new start, part of your brain will tell you that smoking is familiar, and in all this newness and strangeness, something familiar would be nice. So you should smoke, or eat, or watch TV, or do whatever else it is that you don’t want to do. Quit now, say goodbye now. You’ll have plenty of goodbyes to say later.
It can be easier to start or stop a particular habit in a different place, somewhere that the pressure isn’t as intense or the triggers that bring on the urge aren’t present, but it might be harder, too. Before you pack up your life to move somewhere else to start over, take a good long look at what you’re packing. If you don’t want to smoke in the new chapter of your life, quit now. Don’t say that you’re getting in the last bit of pleasure or that it’s too much to make the change and quit smoking at the same time. Quit now, because you don’t know how tenacious your urge to smoke will be in the new place. If you’re doing a very thorough job of making a new start, part of your brain will tell you that smoking is familiar, and in all this newness and strangeness, something familiar would be nice. So you should smoke, or eat, or watch TV, or do whatever else it is that you don’t want to do. Quit now, say goodbye now. You’ll have plenty of goodbyes to say later.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Packing – Your Education
Maybe you want a new job or a new career or a new field entirely. Or maybe you’re thinking about leaving the “rat race” and doing something completely different. In any of those cases, you’ll need to know a few things that you don’t know now. Rather than jumping in blindfolded, start learning now what you’ll need to know. Or, if you know what you need to learn, then learn it now rather than waiting until you’re in your new job, career, field, life.
The same goes for moving to a different part of the country or a different country. You can learn a lot about the neighborhood, the climate, the laws, the language. You can educate yourself so there won’t be quite so much culture shock when you do move.
Perhaps you’re staying put with the same job, but everything else is changing. You can still learn. There are plenty of people who have made the change you’re thinking about, and you probably will be able to find some that will help you through yours.
As you create the next chapter of your Life, of your Future, you get to keep your education, so pack now.
The same goes for moving to a different part of the country or a different country. You can learn a lot about the neighborhood, the climate, the laws, the language. You can educate yourself so there won’t be quite so much culture shock when you do move.
Perhaps you’re staying put with the same job, but everything else is changing. You can still learn. There are plenty of people who have made the change you’re thinking about, and you probably will be able to find some that will help you through yours.
As you create the next chapter of your Life, of your Future, you get to keep your education, so pack now.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Starting Over
You never really start over. Not completely. Even if you end up with amnesia, a thousand miles away from anyone who knew you, you still don’t truly start over. You will still have your body and most likely a good portion of your education. You won’t have all of you, but you’ll have pieces.
In a way, this sucks. You’ll never get a “clean slate”, so to speak. But you don’t need one. Not really.
In a way, this is fantastic. What if you did have a clean slate? You’d have to make all the same mistakes over again, because you wouldn’t remember all the wisdom you gained in your life. You’d have to go back to school, you’d have to relearn how to make friends, you’d have to relearn everything.
You can start a new portion of your life, in a new place, with new people, with a new career, with a new personality if you want, but you still get to retain the wisdom and education you picked up along the way. If the previous chapter of your life sucked, at least then you know what you don’t want. It’s a start.
You don’t have to pick up and move (except in extreme cases) in order to get a new chapter of your life started. If you decide you need to make a new chapter, start “packing” now for the adventure of a lifetime.
In a way, this sucks. You’ll never get a “clean slate”, so to speak. But you don’t need one. Not really.
In a way, this is fantastic. What if you did have a clean slate? You’d have to make all the same mistakes over again, because you wouldn’t remember all the wisdom you gained in your life. You’d have to go back to school, you’d have to relearn how to make friends, you’d have to relearn everything.
You can start a new portion of your life, in a new place, with new people, with a new career, with a new personality if you want, but you still get to retain the wisdom and education you picked up along the way. If the previous chapter of your life sucked, at least then you know what you don’t want. It’s a start.
You don’t have to pick up and move (except in extreme cases) in order to get a new chapter of your life started. If you decide you need to make a new chapter, start “packing” now for the adventure of a lifetime.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
January Appreciation Day
I've written a few writers that I enjoy their stories and series in progress and that I hope they continue. I'd also like to say that I appreciate the new burgeoning friendship I have with my sister, and I hope that continues.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sometimes
Sometimes it's all too much. Sometimes, you just want to curl in a ball and hide yourself in a corner. Sometimes the only food you recognize is comfort food. Sometimes no music sounds right, because it's all too sad or not sad enough or just been heard too recently and too often. Sometimes you want to be held and yet want to be alone at the same time, and the cat just isn't doing it. Sometimes.
But it passes. It may take a while, and it may pass only for a little bit before it all comes swamping in on you again. But it passes, and then it passes again, and then it passes once more for longer this time. Your world becomes gray and then colored and then gray again. But the colors come back. They always will. You just have to wait out the gray, the sometimes. The world will come back, and so will you. Every time.
But it passes. It may take a while, and it may pass only for a little bit before it all comes swamping in on you again. But it passes, and then it passes again, and then it passes once more for longer this time. Your world becomes gray and then colored and then gray again. But the colors come back. They always will. You just have to wait out the gray, the sometimes. The world will come back, and so will you. Every time.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
On Writing
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. This is a great book for any writer or Stephen King fan. A good portion of it is autobiography, but it’s all relevant for a writer. It’s going to end up on my bookshelf. It’s to the point, it has great examples, and it is funny in a whole lot of places. I recommend it.
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