Growing slowly

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. -Chinese Proverb

Too many people in my society want it all now. They don't want to have to wait, to work for what they want. They want to buy now and pay later. They want to go on a crash diet and lose the weight in two months that took them ten years to build up. They want the lifestyle that goes with the jobs that they want and are very upset when they have to "demean" themselves by taking the steps necessary to get where they want to go. Don't be like that. Don't be afraid to change slowly. Don't be afraid to work at what you want.

Lasting change can take time. With the exception of sudden tragedies, change takes time. It takes nine months to give birth to a baby, and it takes a lifetime to give birth to the future. But you are doing it constantly. Just as a pregnant woman is pregnant for those entire nine months, so, too, are you birthing the Future throughout your entire life. You make the choices that shape the Future at all times. Not actions, choices. For choosing not to act is still a choice. It still affects the future.

Some people don't want to change. They think that they and their lives are fine just as they are and they want to keep them that way. Will they never lose a loved one? A family member or friend? Will they never change jobs, move to a new home, have a child, take on a pet, become ill, or recover their health? Will nothing ever change in their lives? Change will happen to them, whether they want it or not. Change is inevitable.

Some people are so afraid of change, despite how horrible their lives are, that they spend a great deal of energy making certain nothing ever changes, and in doing so they sacrifice themselves. Change will happen to them, too. In time, others around them will change, and they will have to deal with it. In time, they will run out of energy or patience, and they will have to deal with it. Change will also happen to them, and it will also happen to you.

Radical change can be scary, and the fear may push you back to how things were before. Radical change is also difficult at times to maintain. To change the time you awake to an hour before your current waking time is a very large change and will be very difficult at first. If you have the time, change your waking time by five minutes each day. Gradually and slowly change, and it will be more lasting.

It's not just you who would be afraid of radical change. Others in your life are also afraid of change, and they may sabotage you, though they do not realize that they are doing so. A hurt expression combined with "You've changed. You're no longer the person I knew." can do amazingly damaging things to you, if you let it. And if the change was rushed, if you made a large change, then if you take a step back, you will step very far back. If the change was gradual, if you took small steps to get where you were when they noticed, then if you take a step back, you will not go very far. You will still have changed greatly, and you will have learned about yourself and the person who said that to you. You will have to decide if you're going to continue your changes in that manner or if you will change elsewhere or if you will let yourself stagnate. Do not let yourself stagnate. You are too wonderful, too much an amazing person, to deny the world the being you are, the being you can be. You are amazing, and you can become even more amazing, and you deserve to be, and we - the rest of the world - deserve to have this even-more-amazing person in our midst. Slow change is less threatening and longer lasting, and it does get the job done.

I have a change jar. Each day that I pay for something in cash, I take the coins I get in change, and I put it in the jar. I don't touch the jar otherwise, except for once a year. At that time, I take it into the bank, and I have them count it up, so I can use it for something special. I usually have more than $50 in the jar. Every time I add to it, I add less than $1. A good number of days, I don't add to it at all. But every little bit of "change" adds up, and I have a nice sum at the end of the year. If I went into the jar now and again for money for a pizza or a new book, then I wouldn't have the money saved up. I would be sabotaging myself by undoing the change I made. But I don't. I save a little at a time, and I do so consistently. And if something comes up where I desperately need the change for some reason, then I use a little bit of it and go right back to my consistent saving. I pick myself up and dust myself off. No recriminations, no bad mouthing, no negative voices in my head. I get back on track, and continue the change. If I tried to save more each day, if I put in a $5 bill in the jar, then I would feel it. It would be $5 less that I would not have to buy groceries or gasoline. I would feel that. But the coins, the less than $1, that is easy, and that I can do. The small changes done consistently make a world of difference.

The same is true of many changes, of many things in your life that you would like to alter, improve, remove. Do not rush yourself, trying to get everything right now, for it works for a very few people. You do not need to have your entire life "fixed" right now. You do not need to completely change your life right now. Giving birth to the Future will take time, and you want to have the energy to enjoy it when it happens. Do not rush, but do not stand still. Change slowly, so that the change will last.