The Inbetween Time

The inbetween time sucks. I know the platitudes and the advice. “Make the best of this.” “Find something you enjoy and do it.” Uh huh. It still sucks. What is that “inbetween time”? It’s that time while or after something has ended and before you’ve gotten used to it. You keep expecting life to get moving again, though in reality life keeps moving along no matter what. But you expect to feel alive again or something. You keep waiting for that signal, that “a-ha!” feeling to come and let you know that the waiting is done, that the new phase of your life has begun.

It doesn’t happen.

There are very few times that this happens. You move into a new house. You have a baby. You start a new job. But for every one of those, there are other “inbetween times”. You are house hunting – you don’t want to spruce up your current place any more than you need to but you still have to live there. You are pregnant – you no longer can do certain things but you don’t have the reason why quite yet. You start a new job – some people find a new job before they start a new one, but a lot of others are out of work and waiting, trying, to find a new job while they balance their checkbooks again.

And there are plenty of other examples. How many people do you know get dumped by a significant other and then mope for months afterwards? Are stuck in grief for a lost loved one to the point that they neglect those still alive? Just sent off their last kid to college and have no idea how to be alone in the house? Started a job in the new city and don’t have friends to hang out with yet?

My advice? Wallow. Get some ice cream or whatever, hop on the computer or the TV, and wallow for a little bit. Let yourself be in the middle of then and when, of what was and what will be. Yes, you will need to get off your duff and do things in order to bring about the Future that you want and desire, but if you’re inbetween and need a break from the waiting and the transition and the plans and the “what if”, wallow for a little bit. Get off your butt tomorrow for a while and then reward yourself some how that works for you.
Life continues always, and your Future is being shaped by everything you do. But give yourself a break now and again. You deserve it, especially when you’re inbetween.