Secrets and Privacy

This is from an e-mail discussion I've had recently. I've edited it so that it makes sense even without the previous e-mails.

Some people are willing to share much more information about their lives than I am with mine, and with a wider variety of people. There are things in my past that I don't care to share. They're over and done with, why bring them up again? Some people will say that if I truly dealt with those issues that bringing them up again wouldn't cause me any discomfort. Those people have led very enlightened or very sheltered lives. It's a tricky discussion to have - what things do you think are secrets and what's general knowledge - because person A will think "well, duh" and not mention it, but person B will believe the opposite.

Then there is the issue of closets, whether they be about religion, sexual orientation, or what have you. While I may be free and open about my spiritual beliefs, I also know that I will get flak about them if I tell the wrong people or in the wrong way. If they ask, I'll tell them, but I'm not going to bring it up.

Which brings me to something said in the post before mine. That person said that if someone asks them something, they'll tell them. Well, I don't agree with that philosophy. I knew a guy who when invited over to your place would go into any room that didn't have a closed door. He figured if you didn't want him in your bedroom, you would have closed the door. Doesn't matter that you're having dinner and the bedroom's in a different part of the house. If it's an open door, he'd go in. Likewise, there are people who will bring up topics of conversations at inappropriate times, like people who will start a discussion about politics in front of a rabid Republican, sometimes just to get a rise out of the person. If I'm having a conversation with A and B, I might be more than happy to talk to A about it, but I don't want B to know because it'd affect our relationship. However, A will bring it up in front of B, and I won't answer at that time, perhaps never if I don't think that A will screw up my relationship with B just because A doesn't think it's a big deal. For those of you who say, "Then don't deal with B", that's kinda hard when B is a coworker or a family member you like except for this one prejudice.