Faith and your comfort zone

When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things: There will be earth to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly. – Unknown

Eventually, you will reach the end of your comfort zone. You will try something new or be about to try something new, and perhaps you’ll want to draw back, to retreat back into the known. But if you want the Future to be different from the present, you can’t do that. Mother Theresa is the only person I know who managed to do a whole lot of good by doing the same thing over and over again. Ghandi had to change what he did and even what country he worked in. Martin Luther King, Jr., had speeches and marches and television appearances and many other things that he did. And for both of these men, there was a first time for these things. Even for Mother Theresa, there was a first beggar, a first clinic, a first leper. If these people had not done these first-time things, the world would be a worse place.

You may be afraid that you won’t be successful in what you want to do. That thought has kept me from so many different experiences and possibilities that it makes me very sad if I think about it too long. Instead, I use those thoughts and memories to inspire me to try new things now. I don’t bother with “if only”, but I do my best not to add any more to my life. You may be afraid that you will be successful, and then people will expect more and more from you, and you’re not sure you can handle that. I’ve had that thought, too, and that still scares me, but I refuse to let it rule me any longer.

Your comfort zone is a nice place. It’s comfortable, hence the name. It’s predictable. You know how to react to whatever happens. You know how others will react to what you do. But your comfort zone is not always a safe place, nor is it always where you want to be. But getting beyond your comfort zone is not always easy.

When an alcoholic decides to stop drinking, the family reacts, whether they realize it or not. Living with a drinking alcoholic was what they knew. They knew that when the alcoholic looked like this or said that, that they should respond in this particular way to manipulate the drunk or to avoid getting hit or to spark or avoid an argument. But, when the drinking alcoholic becomes a recovering alcoholic, that person’s reactions change. People don’t know what to do any more. Plus, now that the drinking is no longer the big problem in the house, other problems start jostling for the spot light, problems that were easily ignored before now. Living with a drinking alcoholic was not safe, was not healthy, was not pleasant, but it was what the family knew. It was their comfort zone, whether they knew it or not.

You may also have an unsafe or unhealthy or unpleasant comfort zone, or a portion of one. That one friend who always starts a fight when you go out to drink. The boss who always yells at you for any reason she can think of. The cheating spouse. The home town that has gotten too small for your dreams. You may have a pretty good life – except for that. But to change that would be to leave your comfort zone, and like with the alcoholic’s family, it may bring about unexpected results. The family all wanted the alcoholic to stop drinking, thinking that it would make everything better, but “everything better” required more work than they expected.

There is only one reason why you wouldn’t need to leave your comfort zone – you are already living your ideal life. You are already creating the Future you want by your current actions. There is no more for you to do other than continue on the paths you have already begun. Are you there? I’m not. I don’t know anyone who is. So what do you do?

You do the thing that scares you. You make the phone call, you leave the abuser, you quit the job, you take the class, you take the job in the other town. You do what you need to do to create the life you want, even though it isn’t something you’re afraid to do. You take the chance, you make the decision. You don’t put it off! As the band Rush says, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” If you delay your decision, you are making the choice to stick with your comfort zone for now. That isn’t always a bad thing, but always doing it is a bad thing. Soar, create, be do. Live.

I can hear some of you saying, “But I wasn’t meant for that big a life?” Says who? And if you’re truly terrified by that big of a life, of being that great, then make yourself only a little greater. Change something small. Cultivate one new friend who supports you. Look into new jobs, even if you aren’t going to go on interviews yet. Brush up your resume. Dust off that old novel. Go to the museum once. Plan a trip to the Bahamas, even if you don’t go yet. Take a little sip from the ocean of Possibilities. It takes a lot of sips to make a full gallon, but if you keep taking those sips, you will get where you want to go. Expand and stretch your comfort zone, and then breathe. Like your new comfort zone and refuse to allow it to retract and confine you again. Then expand it again. Do it slowly so you don’t frighten yourself or others who may wonder who you are and what you’ve done with who you were.

Or, perhaps you’re so confined and restricted that it’ll take a major effort to get you out of your comfort zone. Then you prepare the best you can and do it. Blow a hole in the wall that’s encircling you and step out into the Future. Breathe deep and watch the walls of your old prison crumble beneath your gaze. You are powerful and mighty. You can do it.

Comfort zones are good starting places, but don’t let it be your final resting place. Be.