Emotional Rejuvenation

I’ve been avoiding this post for a while. It’s a tough one for me to do. When I was a kid, my emotions got froze. I was allowed to be happy, but that was pretty much it. Sad was not allowed in our house, and only one person was allowed to be angry. The other emotions weren’t dealt with much at all. It’s taken a lot of work on my part to unfreeze myself, to allow myself to feel emotions without fear of retribution of vulnerability. Not that I wouldn’t be vulnerable, but not to fear that, to allow others in. So, talking about rejuvenating our emotions hits a sore spot for me. I still have a long way to go before I feel freely and allow myself to get hurt, because only by being that open can I allow myself to be loved and truly happy.

You may have had a similar experience. You may even be in a similar situation right now (if you are, please get out of it). This may be as hard a post for you to read as it is for me to write. Or perhaps you have burned out. You have given and given and given; you’ve laid your heart on the table; and you have little to nothing to show for it. So, what do you do? Lock yourself up tight so no one can hurt you? Open yourself up to everyone, allowing every jerk to stomp your heart? There has to be a happy median, and that I’m still finding, figuring out, but what I’ve learned so far may be of help to you.

Living without emotions is like living without flavor. You can exist, you can eat, but you will never savor. Life is much duller without emotions. Living with your heart completely open is like going from a darkened room into brilliant sunlight. The brilliance of the light will hurt your eyes, but the warmth of the sun’s rays will warm you. It’s much more exciting with emotions, but too much excitement is draining.

If you’re trying to learn to live with emotions, start with the safest place – by yourself. Try happiness or joy first. Rent a funny movie, or borrow a funny book. There are a lot of comic strips that publish collections of the strips. Give yourself a reason to smile when you’re by yourself. If you need to cry but cannot cry for yourself, try Chicken Soup for the Soul. There are also a lot of stirring novels out there. Try the classics first – To Kill a Mockingbird, Little Women, Black Beauty. Children’s books? Perhaps, but childhood may be the last time you truly felt, and you need to speak to that part of yourself again, draw it back out, give it a place it can trust to feel. By yourself is the first and the last place you’ll face the path towards feeling again. Again, if you are in a place where your emotions are not allowed – which means that you are not allowed – get out if you can, and if you can’t, work your hardest to make it possible. You’re worth it.

If you’re trying to learn to live with too many emotions or too strong of emotions, you have a different sort of task ahead of you. The short term solution is to learn how to toughen yourself and to say no to those that would hurt you or tax you. Make certain that you take care of yourself physically and mentally. When you are tired, your emotions are more easily tapped. The longer term solution is to look inside yourself and see why you using emotions as a shield. Some people believe that life must be constantly dramatic to have any worth and thus play up every insult, every compliment, every everything in their lives to the fullest emotional extent. Why are you afraid of life being dull? Why are afraid of having a little bit of breathing time? What does your mind say to you when you don’t have an emotion to worry about? Some people feel that they are unworthy of anything in and of themselves, that they must give of themselves in order for people to value them. Some give to charities. Some give to users – vampires who look for victims willing to bleed for them, whether that blood be money, attention, love, or anything else. You have to realize that you are worthy, and you have to allow yourself to be alone. Alone is not a bad place to be. You needn’t be afraid of it. And you are worthy, no matter who said what to you in the past or just this morning. Once you know why you are using your heightened emotions as a shield, you can start figuring out how to no longer need a shield or how to use something less damaging to yourself.

And when you need some emotional rejuvenation, figure out if you need to inject some into you or to bleed some out to achieve the balance that rejuvenation gives you. To pour off some excess, either rant and rave or write a nasty letter that you burn up rather than send, or let is slowly seep out of you as you do something else, something physical that gives you release or mental that distracts you. If you need an injection, movies, books, going to the park on a sunny day, seeing babies laugh (it’s tough to not smile at them), or playing with fuzzy stuffed animals are all highly recommended.

Good luck, and if you learn something that I haven’t gotten down, please share it.