Not Yelling

Some other ways you might want to use to vent your frustration or anger with out violence or destruction:

Pottery – really, have you molded and thrown and shoved a lump of clay lately?
Walking – also good exercise. Running’s good, but it’s harder on the knees.
Scrubbing your tub – venting, and cleaning, a good combo. Or weeding, a destruction that is good for you.
Going for a drive – better in bad weather than walking, but uses up gas
Loud music – drowning out your anger through volume can work, especially if you sing at the top of your lungs, too
Sex – don’t go out and have anonymous sex with strangers (see previous posts), but if you’ve got a partner that likes it hot and sweaty now and again, have at. Masturbation’s good, too.
Crafts like painting or knitting – something physical that creates. Not as good, because the physical aspect isn’t as vigorous, but for those “low simmer” times, creating something of beauty can help raise your mood
Writing – get your angry yelling down on paper, either in true form or disguised in a bit of fiction. Use loud, angry pens like red markers and those blue bleeding pens that drip across the page, the ones you don’t like using for anything else. Crayon works well, too, if you dare to seem a bit silly

Yelling at a Stubbed Toe

People who do this are over-reactors. If they are yelling about a stubbed toe and not something else, then they have a problem. Perhaps it’s medical, and their toes are incredibly sensitive, in which case they should invest in some steel-toed shoes. Perhaps they are normally calm people but have a hair trigger, in which case they are probably doing okay, but they might want to check out that seething anger that lies beneath the surface. Perhaps they yell about everything, in which case they have anger issues and should work on getting those resolved. Life is a beautiful and joyous thing, and if being alive wasn’t considered better than the alternative, then a whole lot more people would be committing suicide. So why are you so angry? Why don’t you feel the joy and beauty of life? Something’s wrong, and you should take care of it before you’re on your deathbed and only then realize what you’ve been missing.

1001 Ways to Cut Your Expenses

1001 Ways to Cut Your Expenses by Jonathan D. Pond. It’s repetitious. It may be good for a once-through of just the bolded parts for a quick-and-dirty summary of methods. Not a whole lot that isn’t common sense, but you don’t always think about everything when you’re in the midst of a situation, financial or otherwise.

Angry at the Right Time

To be angry is easy. But to be angry with the right man at the right time and in the right manner, that is not easy. - Aristotle

Have you ever (or ever seen someone else) get a hole in your sock or spill some coffee on your pants or stub your toe and then just lose it? Swearing and hopping and yelling and sometimes large gestures that people and pets have to duck. It’s just a stubbed toe, but the person goes ballistic.

It’s not just a stubbed toe. Ever. Perhaps that person has had a horrible day in general or had a fight with their boss or didn’t want to come home to this sham of a marriage or something. It’s not just a stubbed toe. But you can yell at a stubbed toe. You can scream about a stubbed toe. You can’t yell at your boss. You can’t tell your spouse you want out of this marriage, or maybe you can’t tell yourself you want out. You can’t get angry at your mentally ill parents. You can’t do any of that, or so you think. So you yell at the stubbed toe.

And as long as it’s a stubbed toe or a spilled cup of coffee or a stone in the walkway, that can be okay, for now (more on that later). But when it’s your pet or your child or your spouse that you’re yelling at, that’s a different story. They don’t deserve to be yelled at just because you’re angry at someone else. Or if it really and truly is them that you’re angry at, they don’t deserve to be yelled at for anything other than what you’re really angry about. Do not take it out on your spouse about dinner being 15 minutes late when you’re really angry about having to stay married. If you’re going to yell at someone, yell at the right person for the right thing.

Not yelling but managing to get the anger out some other constructive way is even better, but more on that later, too.

If you have to yell, don’t do it at someone unless it’s that person who deserves being yelled at, for the reason you’re yelling at them, and there really and truly is no other way to get your point across.

Whether You Like It Or Not

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the things you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not... - Thomas H. Huxley

I do find this to be a major benefit in my life, though it’s been severely lagging of late. Many things in life can have a benefit, even if it isn’t a direct benefit. I don’t use geometry much, but the methods of looking at things logically and taking things step by step is very useful, and those methods I used in geometry. I don’t use my social studies much, but it’s very helpful to have a basic background knowledge about our nation’s and world’s history when looking at the political situations today. But perhaps the most useful thing is as Huxley says – the continuous practice of doing something that needs to be done, on time, even when I don’t want to. There’s a lot of life that’s dull and dreary, but it needs to be done – dishes, dusting, visiting the in-laws. Education can help teach you to suck it up and get it over with so you can party with the rest of your time. Life is willing to teach you that lesson, too, but at a higher cost.

The Road Not Taken

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Road_Not_Taken_(poem)
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost gets a place in my book. I heard the phrase “the road less traveled by” a lot earlier than I ever read the entire poem. I don’t want to be like the average American. I have goals and dreams that differ from what the 6 o’clock news and the 12 o’clock soaps and the 8 o’clock dramas tell us that we want. I’m a different person, and I will continue to take the road less traveled, because that’s the trip most worth taking.

Phenomenal Woman

http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/insp/maya.htm
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou also belongs in my book. I, too, am not a model’s shape or size, and it’s nice to have affirmed that I can be an attractive, fantastic woman, even with a Rubenesque figure. It’s a poem for anyone who’s physically different but spiritually and mentally unutterably fantastic.

Warning

http://www.wheniamanoldwoman.com/pages/348544/index.htm
This is another poem I’d have in that book. Warning by Jenny Joseph has created an entire club. The Red Hat Society is for audacious women over the age of 50 who know that life hasn’t ended for them just because they’re “old”. They are still vibrant and amazing women, and when I grow up, I want to be just like them.

After A While

http://www.sapphyr.net/largegems/afterawhile.htm
After A While by Veronica Shoftsall is a great poem. It’s about picking up the pieces after breaking apart, growing up and becoming self reliant. It’s about comfort that comes from life. It’s a poem I enjoy reading and often remember when I need to be strong enough to take what life throws at me. It’s a reminder that you are strong and get stronger all the time.

If I were to do a book about 10 poems that can change your life, this would be one of the first.

Ten Poems to Change Your Life

Ten Poems to Change Your Life by Roger Housden sucked. I'm not a big poetry fan any more, but the title sounded promising. So I read the first couple of poems, and I skipped the interpretations, and I skimmed the remaining poems. These poems are supposed to change my life? One of them was about how warm the poet's socks were. I'm not kidding. I have had some poems if not change my life at least influence or comfort me greatly, and I'll get into some of them and what they mean to me in future posts. But I'm not going to be so pompous as to claim that they will change your life or that my interpretation of them is the right one. My interpretation is influenced by my life and my experiences, and your interpretation will be influenced by yours. Maybe you'll enjoy the poems I suggest. Maybe not. It's your life and your Future. You get to decide.

Packing - Everything else

If you have things you refuse to take with you when you start over, why do you still have them? I can understand certain things - pianos, etc., that bring some value to your life, but not enough to compensate you for the hassle of moving them, but what about other things?

Do you have boxes in the back of your closet you haven't opened in years? Do you even remember what's in them? Why do you still have them? I have a box in my closet that I don't open often. It holds personal items that I don't care to display in my home but I cherish too much to get rid of. However, I also visit that box now and again to see these precious things. It's like having a vacation home you never see. Why bother?

What about clothes that you'll never wear again? Why hang on to them? Do each of them have a special memory?

What about your job? Is this the job you want to have? If not, why not change it now?

What about your friends? Do they support you and give you the positive energy you need in order to create your best Future? If not, why keep them?

If you are looking to start over, think about instead "cleaning house". It may be you don't need to move, you just need a little redecorating.

Fire in the Soul

Fire in the soul : a new psychology of spiritual optimism by Joan Borysenko. I read about a third of this. About half of that consisted of "as I said in my previous book...", so I stopped. I figure if I want to read this one, I should read the first one, but the first one doesn't sound very interesting, so I won't, and this book wasn't interesting enough to read without it.