Angry at the Right Time

To be angry is easy. But to be angry with the right man at the right time and in the right manner, that is not easy. - Aristotle

Have you ever (or ever seen someone else) get a hole in your sock or spill some coffee on your pants or stub your toe and then just lose it? Swearing and hopping and yelling and sometimes large gestures that people and pets have to duck. It’s just a stubbed toe, but the person goes ballistic.

It’s not just a stubbed toe. Ever. Perhaps that person has had a horrible day in general or had a fight with their boss or didn’t want to come home to this sham of a marriage or something. It’s not just a stubbed toe. But you can yell at a stubbed toe. You can scream about a stubbed toe. You can’t yell at your boss. You can’t tell your spouse you want out of this marriage, or maybe you can’t tell yourself you want out. You can’t get angry at your mentally ill parents. You can’t do any of that, or so you think. So you yell at the stubbed toe.

And as long as it’s a stubbed toe or a spilled cup of coffee or a stone in the walkway, that can be okay, for now (more on that later). But when it’s your pet or your child or your spouse that you’re yelling at, that’s a different story. They don’t deserve to be yelled at just because you’re angry at someone else. Or if it really and truly is them that you’re angry at, they don’t deserve to be yelled at for anything other than what you’re really angry about. Do not take it out on your spouse about dinner being 15 minutes late when you’re really angry about having to stay married. If you’re going to yell at someone, yell at the right person for the right thing.

Not yelling but managing to get the anger out some other constructive way is even better, but more on that later, too.

If you have to yell, don’t do it at someone unless it’s that person who deserves being yelled at, for the reason you’re yelling at them, and there really and truly is no other way to get your point across.