Mid Life Crisis

In “Action Verb”, I talked about people hitting a mid life crisis and continuing to be brain dead. Too many people hit a certain age and realize that they aren’t “living” by their definition. The unfortunate thing is that they don’t really have a definition of “living”. They just don’t feel alive. However, they don’t know what their definition of “living” is, and they don’t want to bother with all that introspective crap when they’re in the middle of a crisis. Instead, they go the two major sources of “living” definitions that there are for people like that – the media and their youth.

The media is constantly bombarding us with images and messages saying that if we did this, bought that, used this, we’d have amazing and fun filled lives. If only we had a red convertible, we’d get the gorgeous blond, too. If only we used this deodorant, we’d have people flocking to us in the bars. If only we got a hair cut and manicure and new wardrobe, we’d be married in no time. And we want the excitement of new things and of dreams fulfilled, even if they’re only fantasies and not really plans for our Future. So, we fall into the trap. But it doesn’t work, because it’s still someone else’s definition of living. But, like a drug, people don’t realize that it’s not working. They think they just don’t have enough of it. So they take trips or get a second car or find a hot young lover that is willing to help us throw away our money. The media has a definition of living that works for only some people. If you buy into their definition without seeing if it works for you, you’ll be no better off than you were two years ago.

People also think back to the last time they felt alive, and for many that was in their late teens and early twenties. So, they try to “recapture their youth” without thinking about whether or not that is still appropriate for them at their present place in life. Getting drunk every night or staying out until 6 am may have been a lot of fun for you then, but things are different for you now. You don’t live with six other people in a run down place with the nice drug dealer next door. You don’t have the job in the copier store or the fast food joint where you go into work at 2 in the afternoon. You also don’t have the same metabolism as you used to or as low of a balance on your credit card. Or any other of a dozen differences between your life at 20 and your life at 40. Living is different for a person throughout your life, and while it is a pain in the butt to have to redefine it now and again, repairing the damage done from your midlife crisis will be a bigger pain in the butt if you don’t.

Don’t ruin your Future by insisting on dragging your past with you.