Before the challenge, I had been looking for dates and for friends. Every dating-eligible person I met I assessed first as a potential date, and then I would look at them as a friend. This doesn’t get you a whole lot of friends.
It’s also exhausting, and it causes your outlook to skew a bit on life. Looks and actions are analyzed and frequently over analyzed in the context of “how did he mean that?” Things that are meant in a perfectly friendly manner are taken in the wrong way, in hopes that this person is “the one” or, for us polyamorous types, “another match”.
But it doesn’t work that way, and I have been amazed at how much I’d been doing that, looking, hunting, searching, instead of living and enjoying the friendships I have. I still do it now and again, but I’ve caught myself and taken a real look. It’s much more relaxing to simply enjoy someone’s company than analyzing them.
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1 comment:
Up for another dinner and a movie with a friend, then? :-)
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