Things We Lose, Our Bodies

Our bodies are more than just the physical. It’s also about how we relate to our bodies. Our health is compromised, true, but we can also lose our sense of well-being, how we feel about being ill. Our diet may change or our appetite may leave completely. We used to feel that we could rely upon our body, but that’s gone or at least shaken up. Sometimes women lose their body temperature regulator. It will always be too hot or too cold. We lose sleep, whether because our bodies don’t want to sleep or because we’re too anxious and can’t quiet our brains long enough to fall asleep. Some treatments interfere with memory or concentration, but that will come back.

We get some of these back. Some we have to learn to live with. Some we have to learn to live without. Life has been good training for this. All our lives, we’ve gained and lost people, perspectives, and parts of ourselves. We don’t have the bodies we had when we were teens, much less the ones we had as kids. We are no longer students or virgins or whatever other labels we may have had once upon a time. You can get through this. You can get through anything. And wonderfully, amazingly, it is up to you who you are on the other side.