Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Things We Lose, Relationships

During a significant change, your relationships with others may alter. For some, family security is lost as people realize that things won’t be this way forever. Others decide that they aren’t going to take the way they’ve been treated any more. Life is too short, and they won’t be a doormat. This can upset a lot of relationships. For others, life is too short to hold grudges, and relationships that have been distant may become mended. Some people decide that they have enough drama in their lives with cancer or other big change; they don’t need other people’s drama as well. Since some people live perpetually in a state of drama or crisis, those people may decide they aren’t being appreciated enough and leave, or the survivor may decide to leave them. With gynecologic cancer, sex changes, whether it be because of hormonal changes in the sex drive, emotional changes in the feelings of attractiveness, physical changes that require some alterations to preparation or position, or any other reason. Sex may never be the same way again, but it can be just as good if not better. Some people cannot handle thinking about losing someone to cancer or they may believe it to be contagious or whatever, and you may lose friends or family members. I could go into the trite “then they aren’t worth it”, but whether they’re worth it or not, it still sucks.

Life means change. No change means stagnation, and while you can survive with stagnation, you cannot live with it. Cancer and other significant changes condense a whole lot of change into a very little amount of time. But you can survive it, and when you come out on the other side, you do live. You may not have the same life, the same family, the same relationships as before, but you do live, and that’s more important.

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