Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Challenge
I've been challenged to make no important changes in my life for 6 months. It's an interesting thought. More on that in coming posts.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
The Tao of Pooh
The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff is well worth the read. If you’re a fan of Taoism or of Winnie the Pooh, or preferably both, then you should read this book. The author believes that Winnie the Pooh is the greatest Western Taoist and sets about proving it with examples from the book and from Taoist writings. For people who don’t know much about Taoism, it’s a good primer, told in a way that most people who grew up in America would be able to relate to.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Making a Change
Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there. It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so as long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)
There are a lot of answers to the question “What is the meaning of life?” This quote believes that the meaning of life is to make a change in the world. If so, too many people lead meaningless lives. Have you made a change in the world? A lasting change? Is that change something you can be proud of? Something you would be willing to admit to, brag about even? Your life has made a difference, no matter how small, in the world. You convert oxygen to carbon dioxide. You consume and excrete. You have or may have had a job that didn’t go to someone else, lived in an apartment that someone else didn’t live in at the same time. Somehow, you made a small change in this world, but is it enough for you? And is it in the way that you’d want to be remembered? Do you want to knock on the gates of heaven (or wherever you believe you’ll go after death) and say, the converter of oxygen is here for admittance. What do you want to be able to say?
When you figure that out, you’ve made a tremendous step into figuring out your Future.
There are a lot of answers to the question “What is the meaning of life?” This quote believes that the meaning of life is to make a change in the world. If so, too many people lead meaningless lives. Have you made a change in the world? A lasting change? Is that change something you can be proud of? Something you would be willing to admit to, brag about even? Your life has made a difference, no matter how small, in the world. You convert oxygen to carbon dioxide. You consume and excrete. You have or may have had a job that didn’t go to someone else, lived in an apartment that someone else didn’t live in at the same time. Somehow, you made a small change in this world, but is it enough for you? And is it in the way that you’d want to be remembered? Do you want to knock on the gates of heaven (or wherever you believe you’ll go after death) and say, the converter of oxygen is here for admittance. What do you want to be able to say?
When you figure that out, you’ve made a tremendous step into figuring out your Future.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A Dollar Down
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments. - Mad Magazine
How easy are those weekly payments? How easy are they when you have a dozen of them at the same time? Don’t laugh, that’s not as far fetched as you think. Really think about what’s in your life that you’re paying off. But, most things are monthly rather than weekly now. Let’s take a look.
Do you own your home? Do you have a mortgage? That’s one. And don’t forget mortgage insurance, if you have it. Property tax doesn’t count for this, because that won’t go away, like utilities. We’re thinking about the stuff you’re paying off.
How many credit cards to you own? One? Three? Five? More? All of those need monthly payments, unless you have a zero balance on them. Odds are likely, though, at least for Americans, that if you have a credit card, you probably have a balance on them.
Then there’s cars. How many do you have? Is it paid off? Are they paid off? Do you have a motorcycle? A boat? Count each of those, as well.
Then there’s the television. Did you buy that on a payment plan? Or is that one of the things on the credit card? How about your appliances – your washer and dryer, your refrigerator?
A lot of people have plenty of things that they’re paying off at the same time because each individual thing is easy, so adding just a “little more” debt and paying out just a “little more” money each month is easy. But it adds up. It all adds up.
And it’s not just money. And it’s not all bad. One more soda a day adds up to a lot of calories. One more sit up a day adds up to better stomach muscles. One more drink adds up to a higher tolerance which leads to a slippery slope that’s hard to control. One more night spent in adds up to that much more money saved.
Little things add up. You don’t have to make drastic changes in your life in order to get your life to change. You are in control of your life, or at the very least a part of it. Use that control to make your life what you want rather than what is easy.
How easy are those weekly payments? How easy are they when you have a dozen of them at the same time? Don’t laugh, that’s not as far fetched as you think. Really think about what’s in your life that you’re paying off. But, most things are monthly rather than weekly now. Let’s take a look.
Do you own your home? Do you have a mortgage? That’s one. And don’t forget mortgage insurance, if you have it. Property tax doesn’t count for this, because that won’t go away, like utilities. We’re thinking about the stuff you’re paying off.
How many credit cards to you own? One? Three? Five? More? All of those need monthly payments, unless you have a zero balance on them. Odds are likely, though, at least for Americans, that if you have a credit card, you probably have a balance on them.
Then there’s cars. How many do you have? Is it paid off? Are they paid off? Do you have a motorcycle? A boat? Count each of those, as well.
Then there’s the television. Did you buy that on a payment plan? Or is that one of the things on the credit card? How about your appliances – your washer and dryer, your refrigerator?
A lot of people have plenty of things that they’re paying off at the same time because each individual thing is easy, so adding just a “little more” debt and paying out just a “little more” money each month is easy. But it adds up. It all adds up.
And it’s not just money. And it’s not all bad. One more soda a day adds up to a lot of calories. One more sit up a day adds up to better stomach muscles. One more drink adds up to a higher tolerance which leads to a slippery slope that’s hard to control. One more night spent in adds up to that much more money saved.
Little things add up. You don’t have to make drastic changes in your life in order to get your life to change. You are in control of your life, or at the very least a part of it. Use that control to make your life what you want rather than what is easy.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Character and Decisions
Character is the ability to carry out a worthy decision after the emotion of making that decision has passed. - Hyrum W. Smith
How many of you have made a New Year’s Resolution? How many of you have kept all of them? They “get” hard. Not really, though. The decision is just as hard on February 18 as it was on January 2, but a lot of people have stopped doing (or not doing) X by that time, because it “got hard”. What really happened is that your persistence ran out.
Unless you were in an accident or had surgery or some other major health alteration, it’s just as easy to do 20 sit ups on January 2 as it is on February 18. It feels harder, though. People like to make decisions, but following through on them is another thing altogether. That’s where character and persistence come in.
There are a lot of things that make up your character. One of the big ones is keeping your word. If you are known, rightfully so, as a person who does not keep his or her word, then your character is shot, along with your reputation. And do not even try to get away with “no one will know”. You’ll know, and your opinion of yourself and your character is important. If you lie to yourself repeatedly, then you will not see yourself as trustworthy, and others will pick up on that, whether they know about your broken promises or not.
However, don’t forget that word “worthy” in the quote. If you decide that you’re going to exercise for an hour every morning before work, and something happens that you can no longer keep that decision, let yourself off the hook. If your job changes, or your car breaks down and you have to commute a different way, or your health alters, or you start working later for an important project and can’t get to sleep on time for now, these are good and legitimate reasons for not being able to exercise an entire hour every morning. If you just don’t feel like it, or if your favorite TV show is now on later so you “have” to stay up later, or if it’s too rainy or foggy or cold or nice out for you to exercise, these aren’t good excuses. But, if you are not going to keep your decision any way, then decide to do that. Don’t just let your promise to yourself or to another linger and lapse. Grab your character, dust it off, and state that you are not going to keep that decision any longer.
Promises are harder to keep than they are to make. Decisions are harder to abide by than they are to make. First, only make those that you can and that you intend to keep. Then, keep them or stop them, if you can’t. As your character improves, your self esteem will improve, and you will feel more powerful. And that will improve your Future.
How many of you have made a New Year’s Resolution? How many of you have kept all of them? They “get” hard. Not really, though. The decision is just as hard on February 18 as it was on January 2, but a lot of people have stopped doing (or not doing) X by that time, because it “got hard”. What really happened is that your persistence ran out.
Unless you were in an accident or had surgery or some other major health alteration, it’s just as easy to do 20 sit ups on January 2 as it is on February 18. It feels harder, though. People like to make decisions, but following through on them is another thing altogether. That’s where character and persistence come in.
There are a lot of things that make up your character. One of the big ones is keeping your word. If you are known, rightfully so, as a person who does not keep his or her word, then your character is shot, along with your reputation. And do not even try to get away with “no one will know”. You’ll know, and your opinion of yourself and your character is important. If you lie to yourself repeatedly, then you will not see yourself as trustworthy, and others will pick up on that, whether they know about your broken promises or not.
However, don’t forget that word “worthy” in the quote. If you decide that you’re going to exercise for an hour every morning before work, and something happens that you can no longer keep that decision, let yourself off the hook. If your job changes, or your car breaks down and you have to commute a different way, or your health alters, or you start working later for an important project and can’t get to sleep on time for now, these are good and legitimate reasons for not being able to exercise an entire hour every morning. If you just don’t feel like it, or if your favorite TV show is now on later so you “have” to stay up later, or if it’s too rainy or foggy or cold or nice out for you to exercise, these aren’t good excuses. But, if you are not going to keep your decision any way, then decide to do that. Don’t just let your promise to yourself or to another linger and lapse. Grab your character, dust it off, and state that you are not going to keep that decision any longer.
Promises are harder to keep than they are to make. Decisions are harder to abide by than they are to make. First, only make those that you can and that you intend to keep. Then, keep them or stop them, if you can’t. As your character improves, your self esteem will improve, and you will feel more powerful. And that will improve your Future.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Simplify Your Work Life
Simplify Your Work Life: Ways to Change the Way You Work So You Have More Time to Live by Elaine St. James is well worth reading. It’s short but highly effective. The author puts in a lot of information in a very small book. It’s also easy to read – no long words, no page-long paragraphs, no convoluted sentence structures. It’s straightforward and has great advice.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Complaining
Every one must see daily instances of people who complain from a mere habit of complaining. - Richard Graves, Olla Podrida 6 October 1787
I hate whiners. I dislike negative people in general, but whiners and complainers, they’re some of the worst. Even when their life is relatively decent, they will have something to complain about, because complaining and dissatisfaction are at the center of their lives. They are dissatisfied with themselves and thus cannot be satisfied with anything else. They are annoying to listen to, because they typically cannot let you talk about anything, much less about anything positive.
Listen to yourself, and see how much you complain. I just complained for an entire paragraph right above this. But, I’ll let that go. If it comes up in conversation another time, I may mention it again. In fact, I probably will. But I’m not going to create an entire conversation complaining about complainers. Instead, let’s talk about what you (and I) can do to reduce the amount of complaining in the world.
How much do you complain? A lot of your complaints may be legitimate. If so, then express them where they need to be expressed and move on. Tell your neighbor the stereo is too loud, tell your boss that the hours are unreasonable, and tell your roommate that the kitchen is no place for dirty socks. And then let it drop. Do not go out with your friends and tell all of them about your neighbor, your boss, and your roommate. What are they going to do other than give you sympathy and attention? You can get attention in other ways, more positive ways.
Some of your complaints may be useless. Any complaint about the weather is useless. No one can do anything about it. Observation about the weather, sure. Want to start up some conversation with a random stranger at the bus stop or in the elevator? Talk about the weather. But, complaining about the weather to your friends and family? Don’t you have anything else to talk about? And if not, then why do you bother with them? Find a movie to watch or a game to play or something else that will occupy your time so you don’t have to speak.
And with some people, complaining is what you do, because that’s what the two of you do when you’re together. Do you really need a friend like that? You can get other friends. What if the two of you got together and didn’t complain? What if you talked about the good things that happened to you that week? What if you just expressed some thanks for being alive? Could you do that? Could your friend?
Complaining can be a habit, which means it can be broken. You don’t need negativity in your life. Your life and your Future are better off without it.
I hate whiners. I dislike negative people in general, but whiners and complainers, they’re some of the worst. Even when their life is relatively decent, they will have something to complain about, because complaining and dissatisfaction are at the center of their lives. They are dissatisfied with themselves and thus cannot be satisfied with anything else. They are annoying to listen to, because they typically cannot let you talk about anything, much less about anything positive.
Listen to yourself, and see how much you complain. I just complained for an entire paragraph right above this. But, I’ll let that go. If it comes up in conversation another time, I may mention it again. In fact, I probably will. But I’m not going to create an entire conversation complaining about complainers. Instead, let’s talk about what you (and I) can do to reduce the amount of complaining in the world.
How much do you complain? A lot of your complaints may be legitimate. If so, then express them where they need to be expressed and move on. Tell your neighbor the stereo is too loud, tell your boss that the hours are unreasonable, and tell your roommate that the kitchen is no place for dirty socks. And then let it drop. Do not go out with your friends and tell all of them about your neighbor, your boss, and your roommate. What are they going to do other than give you sympathy and attention? You can get attention in other ways, more positive ways.
Some of your complaints may be useless. Any complaint about the weather is useless. No one can do anything about it. Observation about the weather, sure. Want to start up some conversation with a random stranger at the bus stop or in the elevator? Talk about the weather. But, complaining about the weather to your friends and family? Don’t you have anything else to talk about? And if not, then why do you bother with them? Find a movie to watch or a game to play or something else that will occupy your time so you don’t have to speak.
And with some people, complaining is what you do, because that’s what the two of you do when you’re together. Do you really need a friend like that? You can get other friends. What if the two of you got together and didn’t complain? What if you talked about the good things that happened to you that week? What if you just expressed some thanks for being alive? Could you do that? Could your friend?
Complaining can be a habit, which means it can be broken. You don’t need negativity in your life. Your life and your Future are better off without it.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Difficulties
I am having continued difficulties posting since upgrading Internet Explorer. Several book reviews were already scheduled, so they will post as normal, but regular posts will be sporadic until I get this figured out.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom
Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup is an excellent book. I highly recommend it to any women, but especially to women who believe in alternative therapies and healing. She mentions a healing intuitive a few times. If that’s not your thing, then skip those parts and read the rest. She is a doctor, and the biological information alone is worth checking out. However, the advice on diet, health, and other parts of a woman’s life is very much worth the read.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Pessimism
If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic. - Hazel Henderson
According to this quote, pessimism is rather egotistical. You believe that there will be a particular outcome, something in the future is set in stone. But you can’t know that. You may be right. There may be things that happen just as you thought they would, but you aren’t right 100% of the time. “The country is going to hell in a handbasket.” Really? Are you sure? We have survived a great deal throughout our history, and we can survive this. “Morality is going downhill.” Perhaps, perhaps not. There are still many people helping others. Mainstream media certain has more swearing and nudity than it used to, but does that mean that we as a society are less moral than we were 50 years ago? And whose morals are we talking about? Yours? Why do you get to judge the entire country?
Pessimism means that you believe you know, that you out of everybody on this planet have knowledge of the future. Not just that, not only do you have knowledge, but you have the right to judge that future as bad. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t. You have your rights to have opinions on things, but you don’t get to judge the future or me or anyone else. You simply don’t know. So why not hope for the best? It costs the same amount of energy, and it certainly makes life more fun.
According to this quote, pessimism is rather egotistical. You believe that there will be a particular outcome, something in the future is set in stone. But you can’t know that. You may be right. There may be things that happen just as you thought they would, but you aren’t right 100% of the time. “The country is going to hell in a handbasket.” Really? Are you sure? We have survived a great deal throughout our history, and we can survive this. “Morality is going downhill.” Perhaps, perhaps not. There are still many people helping others. Mainstream media certain has more swearing and nudity than it used to, but does that mean that we as a society are less moral than we were 50 years ago? And whose morals are we talking about? Yours? Why do you get to judge the entire country?
Pessimism means that you believe you know, that you out of everybody on this planet have knowledge of the future. Not just that, not only do you have knowledge, but you have the right to judge that future as bad. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t. You have your rights to have opinions on things, but you don’t get to judge the future or me or anyone else. You simply don’t know. So why not hope for the best? It costs the same amount of energy, and it certainly makes life more fun.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Be the Change
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi
This quote has been on numerous posters and bumper stickers, so it’s probably familiar to people who read this blog. It’s still valid, no matter how many times or in how many places you’ve seen it. People who complain about things but do nothing to make changes are negative for no reason, and they should have no place in your life. You deserve better than negativity. People who make changes in the world are worth knowing. Some people go overboard and recruit everyone they can get their hands on for their cause. There are many worthwhile causes. Don’t let them drag into something that doesn’t meet your personal goals or would take more time than you can afford.
What if you don’t have time for anything? What if you’re booked solid for your entire life? First, declutter your life. Check out flylady or numerous other places and sources for decluttering advice. Second, check out your priorities. If you are placing a high priority on something about which you’re doing nothing, you’re either lying to yourself about its importance, or you’re not living your life in congruence to your beliefs. Neither of those things will help you get what you truly want out of life.
You don’t have to make huge changes in order to begin or to make a change. You want the world to be a cleaner place? Recycle a little more. Pick up a little trash you see in the park. Clean up your own messes. If everyone did that, the world would be so much cleaner. You want to see more money donated to worthy causes? Donate a dollar a week – figure out what you can do without, something little. Talk about worthy causes with friends and coworkers, see what they think about different charities; bring it to their attention. See if your employer has a matching program; if you make a donation, will they make one of the same amount. You want to see more love in the world? Be more loving. Give more hugs. Give more praise, but only if its sincere. Smile more often, and complain and criticize less.
You can make small changes that add up to big changes, when you keep doing them. You can be that change you want to see in the world.
This quote has been on numerous posters and bumper stickers, so it’s probably familiar to people who read this blog. It’s still valid, no matter how many times or in how many places you’ve seen it. People who complain about things but do nothing to make changes are negative for no reason, and they should have no place in your life. You deserve better than negativity. People who make changes in the world are worth knowing. Some people go overboard and recruit everyone they can get their hands on for their cause. There are many worthwhile causes. Don’t let them drag into something that doesn’t meet your personal goals or would take more time than you can afford.
What if you don’t have time for anything? What if you’re booked solid for your entire life? First, declutter your life. Check out flylady or numerous other places and sources for decluttering advice. Second, check out your priorities. If you are placing a high priority on something about which you’re doing nothing, you’re either lying to yourself about its importance, or you’re not living your life in congruence to your beliefs. Neither of those things will help you get what you truly want out of life.
You don’t have to make huge changes in order to begin or to make a change. You want the world to be a cleaner place? Recycle a little more. Pick up a little trash you see in the park. Clean up your own messes. If everyone did that, the world would be so much cleaner. You want to see more money donated to worthy causes? Donate a dollar a week – figure out what you can do without, something little. Talk about worthy causes with friends and coworkers, see what they think about different charities; bring it to their attention. See if your employer has a matching program; if you make a donation, will they make one of the same amount. You want to see more love in the world? Be more loving. Give more hugs. Give more praise, but only if its sincere. Smile more often, and complain and criticize less.
You can make small changes that add up to big changes, when you keep doing them. You can be that change you want to see in the world.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Bisexual Spouse
I was going to read this and do a book review on it, but I had to put it down after starting the third chapter. I was going to throw it down after the introduction, but I decided to give it a fair shot and read five chapters. No. I have better things to do with my life than to read this piece of garbage. I don't know where I got the recommendation from, but I wish I hadn't picked this up.
Short version of why I think this book sucks - the "bisexuals" in the interviews aren't bisexual. They are homosexuals who had heterosexual marriages for a while. That's the author's definition of bisexual - gays who thought they were straight but then came out as gay.
This upsets me, ticks me off, to use more "polite" language. I'd rather not swear in my blog, but this really gets to me.
I am bisexual. I am not gay. I am not straight. To declare that all bisexuals are really one or the other who dabbled or were mistaken is insulting to an extreme. I am attracted to women. I am attracted to men. I am also attracted to different physical aspects in men versus women. I like my women to be curvy and soft. I like my men to be fit and solid. A woman can be soft and solid, curvy and fit. So can a man. But, I am not attracted to androgynous people, or rather not just, because the physical has never been my main attraction to people. I am in no way monosexual. I am bisexual, and to be told that I don't exist or that I don't know myself as well as this author does is condescending and extremely upsetting.
There are times when a person is too close to something to see it clearly. We've all had friends (or been that friend) who ends up in the same situation over and over again, though we think it's a completely different thing each time. Our friends see it, but we don't. This is not one of those things. I've done a lot of thinking about this. I've done over two decades of thinking about this. I've gone through all kinds of labels and "what if"'s and things like that. I know what I am, and I know who I am. This author can go stuff himself.
Another thing that ticks me off about this is that other people will read this and think that the author is correct, that that is the real definition of bisexual. I have an ex-boyfriend who thought that way. There is enough derision and societal pressure about being bisexual without this spreading it around.
So, whoever recommended this book, please stop. And for anyone who was thinking about reading this book, don't. Not if you're looking for something about bisexuals. If you want to read about homosexuals who married people of the opposite gender, this is for you. But it sure isn't what it claims to be.
Short version of why I think this book sucks - the "bisexuals" in the interviews aren't bisexual. They are homosexuals who had heterosexual marriages for a while. That's the author's definition of bisexual - gays who thought they were straight but then came out as gay.
This upsets me, ticks me off, to use more "polite" language. I'd rather not swear in my blog, but this really gets to me.
I am bisexual. I am not gay. I am not straight. To declare that all bisexuals are really one or the other who dabbled or were mistaken is insulting to an extreme. I am attracted to women. I am attracted to men. I am also attracted to different physical aspects in men versus women. I like my women to be curvy and soft. I like my men to be fit and solid. A woman can be soft and solid, curvy and fit. So can a man. But, I am not attracted to androgynous people, or rather not just, because the physical has never been my main attraction to people. I am in no way monosexual. I am bisexual, and to be told that I don't exist or that I don't know myself as well as this author does is condescending and extremely upsetting.
There are times when a person is too close to something to see it clearly. We've all had friends (or been that friend) who ends up in the same situation over and over again, though we think it's a completely different thing each time. Our friends see it, but we don't. This is not one of those things. I've done a lot of thinking about this. I've done over two decades of thinking about this. I've gone through all kinds of labels and "what if"'s and things like that. I know what I am, and I know who I am. This author can go stuff himself.
Another thing that ticks me off about this is that other people will read this and think that the author is correct, that that is the real definition of bisexual. I have an ex-boyfriend who thought that way. There is enough derision and societal pressure about being bisexual without this spreading it around.
So, whoever recommended this book, please stop. And for anyone who was thinking about reading this book, don't. Not if you're looking for something about bisexuals. If you want to read about homosexuals who married people of the opposite gender, this is for you. But it sure isn't what it claims to be.
Friday, May 08, 2009
What You Want
"I want what I can't have." Are you sure?
You've run into this situation. I know I have. Multiple times. There's a great guy (or gal or job or whatever). He's great - smart, funny, energetic, or whatever it is that makes you tingle. But he's unavailable. He's married or dating or your best friend's ex or has an incredibly annoying habit that you can't live with or lives in another state or whatever it is. Because of X, you cannot have him. So, you can't have what you want, right? Wrong.
You want someone who's smart, someone who's funny, someone who's energetic. You can have it. You don't need him. You can get what you want in a different package. He is not the only smart, funny, energetic person out there.
Likewise, there's more than one great job, more than one place to live, more than one solution to your problem. But when you're focused on X, you don't see the rest of the alphabet. So take a closer look at X. What is it about X that you really want? How else can you get it? Hershey kisses aren't the only way to get chocolate. A Snickers bar works too.
You can have what you want provided you're more concerned with the substance than the packaging.
You've run into this situation. I know I have. Multiple times. There's a great guy (or gal or job or whatever). He's great - smart, funny, energetic, or whatever it is that makes you tingle. But he's unavailable. He's married or dating or your best friend's ex or has an incredibly annoying habit that you can't live with or lives in another state or whatever it is. Because of X, you cannot have him. So, you can't have what you want, right? Wrong.
You want someone who's smart, someone who's funny, someone who's energetic. You can have it. You don't need him. You can get what you want in a different package. He is not the only smart, funny, energetic person out there.
Likewise, there's more than one great job, more than one place to live, more than one solution to your problem. But when you're focused on X, you don't see the rest of the alphabet. So take a closer look at X. What is it about X that you really want? How else can you get it? Hershey kisses aren't the only way to get chocolate. A Snickers bar works too.
You can have what you want provided you're more concerned with the substance than the packaging.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Change
Things change. People change. You change. And what worked for you five years ago may not work for you now. It's not a matter of being dissatisfied or about being never satisfied, despite what some people may say. It's about being a dynamic, growing, changing being. You, your body, your beliefs, your life - they are all always changing. Some things will never change, but there will always be something.
So what do you do? Do you ignore change? Do you actively fight against it? Do you insist that things are or remain exactly the same as five years ago? That won't help you. People are born. People die. People get new jobs. People retire. Laws change. Wars start. Wars end. Things change, and you cannot change that.
You adapt. You adjust what needs to be. You see the new situation and life, and you turn it to your advantage as best you can. You can always change your thoughts and your attitudes. No matter what change life/fate/the outside world forces upon you, you still have a choice.
Choose your Future, over and over again.
So what do you do? Do you ignore change? Do you actively fight against it? Do you insist that things are or remain exactly the same as five years ago? That won't help you. People are born. People die. People get new jobs. People retire. Laws change. Wars start. Wars end. Things change, and you cannot change that.
You adapt. You adjust what needs to be. You see the new situation and life, and you turn it to your advantage as best you can. You can always change your thoughts and your attitudes. No matter what change life/fate/the outside world forces upon you, you still have a choice.
Choose your Future, over and over again.
Monday, May 04, 2009
What If?
What if life was infinitely precious? What if the choices you make today affect not only your own future but those of others? What if you were more important than you could possibly know? What if fewer people are looking at you, judging you, than you think? What if someone found something to admire in you, every day, even on your worst day? What if? Then what?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Change Can Be Scary
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. - Anatole France
We are constantly changing people, mostly. There are some people who have stubbornly insisted on remaining the same day after day, year after year. But most of us grow and change. We aren’t the same people we were a decade ago, and acknowledging that can be a scary thing. One of the worst accusations a friend can make is “You’re changed”. You may try to deny it, but it’s probably true, even without you thinking about it.
It’s the unconscious changes that are the scariest, in my opinion, once you realize them, that is. So long they remain unknown, then how can you be scared? But once you’ve woken up to the fact that your life and your actions are now what you would have expected from who you were “back then”, the change is scary. “How did this happen?” “When did this happen?” “Why did this happen?” Why? Because you weren’t changing intentionally, so you changed as life wanted to shape you.
You’re going to change. It’s inevitable. You can spend a ton of time and energy in never changing, and that’s you’re choice, but things will just change around you instead. The question is, are you going to direct your change, manage it, make certain that you come out on the other side where you want to be? Or are you just going to let the winds of fate take you?
The second choice isn’t so bad, so long as you have enough inner strength to withstand the bad times, but most people who resign themselves to fate do so because they lack the inner strength to bother taking control of their own lives. Either option can be taken to extremes, of course. But are you now where you want to be? And if not, what are you going to do about it?
What’s scarier to you – the effort of making a change where you don’t know the outcome, or the thought of you being exactly like you are 5 or 10 years from now? Change can be scary, but being out of control of yourself can be scarier still.
We are constantly changing people, mostly. There are some people who have stubbornly insisted on remaining the same day after day, year after year. But most of us grow and change. We aren’t the same people we were a decade ago, and acknowledging that can be a scary thing. One of the worst accusations a friend can make is “You’re changed”. You may try to deny it, but it’s probably true, even without you thinking about it.
It’s the unconscious changes that are the scariest, in my opinion, once you realize them, that is. So long they remain unknown, then how can you be scared? But once you’ve woken up to the fact that your life and your actions are now what you would have expected from who you were “back then”, the change is scary. “How did this happen?” “When did this happen?” “Why did this happen?” Why? Because you weren’t changing intentionally, so you changed as life wanted to shape you.
You’re going to change. It’s inevitable. You can spend a ton of time and energy in never changing, and that’s you’re choice, but things will just change around you instead. The question is, are you going to direct your change, manage it, make certain that you come out on the other side where you want to be? Or are you just going to let the winds of fate take you?
The second choice isn’t so bad, so long as you have enough inner strength to withstand the bad times, but most people who resign themselves to fate do so because they lack the inner strength to bother taking control of their own lives. Either option can be taken to extremes, of course. But are you now where you want to be? And if not, what are you going to do about it?
What’s scarier to you – the effort of making a change where you don’t know the outcome, or the thought of you being exactly like you are 5 or 10 years from now? Change can be scary, but being out of control of yourself can be scarier still.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The Point
I would rather work with five people who really believe in what they are doing rather than five hundred who can't see the point. - Patrick Dixon in Building a Better Business
Ability, efficiency, and passion. Those three things can make something work. It’s tough to get by with only two of them, but of the three, passion may be the most important. When you’re missing passion, no amount of ability or efficiency will get you it. If you’ve got passion, though, you’ll get the ability and efficiency, if you have to, because it’s important to you to do so. This is true in many, many places. Who’s going to practice football plays for hours on end? The one with the ability or the one with the passion? Who’s going to spend their nights learning and relearning business strategies? The one who’s efficient or the one who’s passionate? Ability can be learned. Innate talent cannot, but ability can be. Efficiency can be learned, usually at a high cost if you’re not careful, but it can be learned. Passion cannot be learned.
If you can’t see the point in what you’re doing, do something else. In my opinion, a Future without passion about something, isn’t worth living.
Ability, efficiency, and passion. Those three things can make something work. It’s tough to get by with only two of them, but of the three, passion may be the most important. When you’re missing passion, no amount of ability or efficiency will get you it. If you’ve got passion, though, you’ll get the ability and efficiency, if you have to, because it’s important to you to do so. This is true in many, many places. Who’s going to practice football plays for hours on end? The one with the ability or the one with the passion? Who’s going to spend their nights learning and relearning business strategies? The one who’s efficient or the one who’s passionate? Ability can be learned. Innate talent cannot, but ability can be. Efficiency can be learned, usually at a high cost if you’re not careful, but it can be learned. Passion cannot be learned.
If you can’t see the point in what you’re doing, do something else. In my opinion, a Future without passion about something, isn’t worth living.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Starting Place
To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are. - Eric Hoffer
When someone asks you for directions, what’s the first thing you need to know? Where they are. Unless you know where they are, how can you tell them how to get someplace else? You can do vague things like “take this highway south”, but if you don’t know if they’re anywhere near the highway, that doesn’t help. If they’re in Alaska, and you’re in New York, you’re going to tell them different things than if they were in Florida. You need a starting point.
And when you create your Future, you need a starting point, too. If you want to build your Future on today, which is the only way you can build something lasting, you have to know what kind of foundation you’ve got. The way to do that is to know about your life and about yourself. Do you really want X, or is that something you’re going for to please someone else? How important is money to you, really? Any answer is acceptable, so long as it’s the truth. If money is very important to you, then don’t take a job that pays you very little. If money is not important to you, then don’t take the good-paying job that sucks your soul out of your body 60 hours a week. How healthy are you? Can you handle a high stress job? Do you need to move somewhere for your health, or will you in a few years? If you’re going to need to move, starting a business in your current location isn’t such a good idea. Then there’s the people aspect. If you can’t stand Dave, don’t go into business with him, no matter what kind of excellent ideas he has. And definitely don’t date him, even if he “looks good on paper”. Do you dream of going to Tibet for a year? What are you doing about it now? What can you do about it now? How are you arranging your life so that you can accomplish it? You can’t rearrange your life until you know all the pieces, or at the very least some of the pieces, and yet people do it constantly. They want something different, but they don’t realize what they’ve already got.
Before you go changing, find out what is true about you and your Life right now. It’s the best way to create your Future.
When someone asks you for directions, what’s the first thing you need to know? Where they are. Unless you know where they are, how can you tell them how to get someplace else? You can do vague things like “take this highway south”, but if you don’t know if they’re anywhere near the highway, that doesn’t help. If they’re in Alaska, and you’re in New York, you’re going to tell them different things than if they were in Florida. You need a starting point.
And when you create your Future, you need a starting point, too. If you want to build your Future on today, which is the only way you can build something lasting, you have to know what kind of foundation you’ve got. The way to do that is to know about your life and about yourself. Do you really want X, or is that something you’re going for to please someone else? How important is money to you, really? Any answer is acceptable, so long as it’s the truth. If money is very important to you, then don’t take a job that pays you very little. If money is not important to you, then don’t take the good-paying job that sucks your soul out of your body 60 hours a week. How healthy are you? Can you handle a high stress job? Do you need to move somewhere for your health, or will you in a few years? If you’re going to need to move, starting a business in your current location isn’t such a good idea. Then there’s the people aspect. If you can’t stand Dave, don’t go into business with him, no matter what kind of excellent ideas he has. And definitely don’t date him, even if he “looks good on paper”. Do you dream of going to Tibet for a year? What are you doing about it now? What can you do about it now? How are you arranging your life so that you can accomplish it? You can’t rearrange your life until you know all the pieces, or at the very least some of the pieces, and yet people do it constantly. They want something different, but they don’t realize what they’ve already got.
Before you go changing, find out what is true about you and your Life right now. It’s the best way to create your Future.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Birds of a Feather
Odd, I know, a Wiccan quoting the bible, but I’m not as rabidly anti-Christian as some of my other pagan friends are. Besides, there’s some good advice in there. It’s really the poor way a lot of people interpret things that make live such an “adventure”.
Who you spend your time with says not only a lot about who you are, but also a lot about who you will be. The people we’re around have a lot more influence on us than most people want to believe. Even if you don’t start taking on some of their traits, fighting against following the herd can be exhausting. Also, if you hang around fools, you don’t learn nearly as much as you can from wise people or even mediocre people. Except perhaps negative examples, but you can get enough of those from the media.
You don’t have to hang around smart people in order to be smart, but it can help. You don’t have to hang around wise people in order to be wise, but it can help. Wise people can act foolish at times or at least play the fool when they want, but it’s harder to for a fool to pretend to be wise. Wise people and smart people do not have to be stuffy, and if you’re hanging around stuffy people, perhaps you should find some other wise and smart people to be around.
A lot of life is trial and error. A lot of life is learned by example. Your friends will provide you with examples and with opportunities for trial and error. Choose your friends so what you get is what you want out of life and your Future.
Who you spend your time with says not only a lot about who you are, but also a lot about who you will be. The people we’re around have a lot more influence on us than most people want to believe. Even if you don’t start taking on some of their traits, fighting against following the herd can be exhausting. Also, if you hang around fools, you don’t learn nearly as much as you can from wise people or even mediocre people. Except perhaps negative examples, but you can get enough of those from the media.
You don’t have to hang around smart people in order to be smart, but it can help. You don’t have to hang around wise people in order to be wise, but it can help. Wise people can act foolish at times or at least play the fool when they want, but it’s harder to for a fool to pretend to be wise. Wise people and smart people do not have to be stuffy, and if you’re hanging around stuffy people, perhaps you should find some other wise and smart people to be around.
A lot of life is trial and error. A lot of life is learned by example. Your friends will provide you with examples and with opportunities for trial and error. Choose your friends so what you get is what you want out of life and your Future.
Monday, April 06, 2009
What Are You Made Of?
When you are angry or frustrated, what comes out? Whatever it is, it's a good indication of what you're made of. - H. Jackson Brown Jr
There is a thick veneer or layer of polite/acceptable society that covers the majority of Americans’ personalities. Do you really tell your boss what you think? Do you go up to the woman with three pounds of make up and let her know that it doesn’t make her look alluring, just cheap? Do you fart loudly in a restaurant just because you can? For a lot of you, the answer is no for all of those. But how many of you would like to?
When you’re drunk, tired, angry, or frustrated, the layer of “nice nice” gets thinner to non existent. I don’t drink, but I do stay up way too late, and when I do I get very, very honest. Plenty of my friends get the same way when they are drunk or angry or frustrated. That’s one of the reasons why it’s not “nice” to be drunk, angry, or frustrated.
Sometimes, though, it’s the only way to figure out what you’re really thinking. Societal brainwashing can run deep, and sometimes even you don’t know what you’re really thinking because it’s just rude to think that way, so you refuse to acknowledge it. But, you have to do this with some care.
Don’t get drunk and drive, obviously. Don’t get drunk and start calling your exes, either. That’s just begging for trouble. Don’t take your anger out on your boss or your pets or whatever. Yell, scream, etc., but remember that once you calm down, you’re going to have to deal with the consequences of what you said and did.
I am a big fan of journaling, but doing that when drunk or angry doesn’t work very well, so try a recorder, whether you use a tape recorder or your computer or whatever, you’ll be more able to talk than write when you’re upset or drunk enough to cut through the veneer. It’s enlightening, and I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to see a little bit deeper into their own souls.
There is a thick veneer or layer of polite/acceptable society that covers the majority of Americans’ personalities. Do you really tell your boss what you think? Do you go up to the woman with three pounds of make up and let her know that it doesn’t make her look alluring, just cheap? Do you fart loudly in a restaurant just because you can? For a lot of you, the answer is no for all of those. But how many of you would like to?
When you’re drunk, tired, angry, or frustrated, the layer of “nice nice” gets thinner to non existent. I don’t drink, but I do stay up way too late, and when I do I get very, very honest. Plenty of my friends get the same way when they are drunk or angry or frustrated. That’s one of the reasons why it’s not “nice” to be drunk, angry, or frustrated.
Sometimes, though, it’s the only way to figure out what you’re really thinking. Societal brainwashing can run deep, and sometimes even you don’t know what you’re really thinking because it’s just rude to think that way, so you refuse to acknowledge it. But, you have to do this with some care.
Don’t get drunk and drive, obviously. Don’t get drunk and start calling your exes, either. That’s just begging for trouble. Don’t take your anger out on your boss or your pets or whatever. Yell, scream, etc., but remember that once you calm down, you’re going to have to deal with the consequences of what you said and did.
I am a big fan of journaling, but doing that when drunk or angry doesn’t work very well, so try a recorder, whether you use a tape recorder or your computer or whatever, you’ll be more able to talk than write when you’re upset or drunk enough to cut through the veneer. It’s enlightening, and I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to see a little bit deeper into their own souls.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)